50+ Neanderthal Jokes
Neanderthal jokes, Stone Age humor, and evolutionary punchlines.
What do you call a nomadic neanderthal? A meanderthal.
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'What do you call a nomadic neanderthal?', then the trigger 'A meanderthal.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
I'm not keen on Neanderthal comedy. It's very low-brow humour.
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'I'm not keen on Neanderthal comedy.', then the trigger 'It's very low-brow humour.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
I was at the Natural History Museum and I saw the Neanderthal exhibit. Those guys were buff studs. no homo
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'I was at the Natural History Museum and I saw the Neanderthal exhibit. Those guys were buff studs.', then the trigger 'no homo' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
Where did Neanderthals get their chicken wings? Cave-FC
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'Where did Neanderthals get their chicken wings?', then the trigger 'Cave-FC' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
Two neanderthals had a baby... No Homo
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'Two neanderthals had a baby...', then the trigger 'No Homo' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
Two Neanderthal men were bathing in a lake One of them said "No homo but I'm getting an erectus."
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'Two Neanderthal men were bathing in a lake', then the trigger 'One of them said "No homo but I'm getting an erectus."' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
TOPEKA, Kan. - The Kansas School Board today has announced that it will be removing all references to kangaroos, koala, platypus and all fauna unique to the continent of Australia from all school books. The board argued that as there is no Biblical reference to Noah having stopped off at Australia to either pick off or drop off animals, that these creatures must be the spawn of Satan and, therefore, are inappropriate for study by Christians.The Board announced that in the future it would be taking on other hoaxes such as the "dinosaur" conspiracy and the silly idea of a "heliocentric" so-called "solar system." They will also be working on publishing the New Kansas Dictionary, a reference book similar to the New American Dictionary except that it will omit objectionable words and terms like Paleozoic, Mesozoic, Jurassic, Cro-Magnon, Neanderthal, Australopithicus Africanus, science, reason, tolerance, etc.Further, next year's geology texts will dispense with the ridiculous concept of "plate tectonics," instead attributing earthquakes to "the trumpet blasts of angels."The Flat Earth Society refused to comment on the record, but one official of the Society, speaking on condition of anonymity, remarked, "What a bunch of narrow minded, unscientific idiots."The Creator, who has not been heard from for quite some time, could not be reached for comment.
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'TOPEKA, Kan. - The Kansas School Board today has announced that it will be removing all references to kangaroos, koal...', then the trigger 'The board argued that as there is no Biblical reference to Noah having stopped off at Australia to either pick off or...' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is superiority.
I had to roll the passenger window up by hand in my friend's antique 320i like a goddamned Neanderthal, so I totally understand poverty.
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'I had to roll the passenger window up by hand in my friend's antique 320i like', then the trigger 'a goddamned Neanderthal, so I totally understand poverty.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
Where do Neanderthals shop? Cave-mart.
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'Where do Neanderthals shop?', then the trigger 'Cave-mart.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear? Color coded: "Yellow in front, brown in the back"
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'How did the Neanderthal dad teach his son how to wear underwear?', then the trigger 'Color coded: "Yellow in front, brown in the back"' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
People who continually put the toilet paper roll in backwards are evolutionary dead-ends, like the Neanderthal.
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'People who continually put the toilet paper roll in backwards are', then the trigger 'evolutionary dead-ends, like the Neanderthal.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.
a neanderthal scrawls a message on a cave wall, the etchings begin to glow red as he exceeds 140 characters
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'a neanderthal scrawls a message on a cave wall, the etchings begin to glow', then the trigger 'red as he exceeds 140 characters' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
What did the vegan Neanderthal say when walking in to the woman's bathroom? Chickpea
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'What did the vegan Neanderthal say when walking in to the woman's bathroom?', then the trigger 'Chickpea' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
How an Anthropologist found the missing link An anthropologist was digging through a site and found what seemed to be a sub species of humans. Its traits were similar to that of a neanderthal expect for one thing, it had an surprisingly small penis. He named it Homo Mini-Erectus
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'How an Anthropologist found the missing link An anthropologist was digging through a site and found what seemed to be...', then the trigger 'He named it Homo Mini-Erectus' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
Where did the neanderthals sleep? On bedrock.
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'Where did the neanderthals sleep?', then the trigger 'On bedrock.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
Topical Jokes for 6/25 (For best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night host) John Boehner has filed a lawsuit against President Obama, claiming abuse of power. Obama wielded his incredible power later that day, when he begged Congress for permission to go to the bathroom. A study of the world’s oldest feces, revealed that Neanderthals ate vegetables. But experts are saying the study is a load of crap. In Detroit, a 12-year-old boy who had been missing for a week, was discovered alive and well. And if you live in Detroit, that’s the worst possible outcome. The Supreme Court ruled today that police can’t search a suspect’s cellphone without a warrant. In a related story, the head of the NSA died from laughing too hard.
Why is this funny? (Comedy Stack Analysis)
The setup points the reader toward 'Topical Jokes for 6/25 (For best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night host) John Boehner has...', then the trigger 'In a related story, the head of the NSA died from laughing too hard.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.
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