50+ Indian Jokes

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a bar.. The doorman stops them and says "Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.

A good (and very old) joke to explain why people are stocking up on necessities It was autumn, and the Indians on the remote reservation asked their new Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an Indian Chief in a modern society, he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. Also, being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?" "It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed," the meteorologist at the weather service responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Is it going to be a very cold winter?" "Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied,"it's definitely going to be a very cold winter." The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?" "Absolutely," the man replied. "It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever." "How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy." EDIT: formatting...

Ted Cruz went to Indiana - Hoosier Country - stood on a basketball court, and called the hoop a "basketball ring. What else is in his lexicon? Baseball Sticks? Football Hats? But sure, I'm the foreign one. Barack Obama April 30 2016 ORNIT OF TIE

An English man, Welsh man and a Indian man walk are in a maternity hospital. The doctor tells them theres been a mix up and doesn't know who's baby is who's. The English man runs in and grabs the only brown baby and starts to walk out. The Indian man looks relly confused and says "I'm pretty sure that's not your baby it looks Indian so it's mine". The English man says "I know, but there's not a chance in hell I'm leaving here with a baby that could be Welsh."

My wife left me for an Indian guy I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.

What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? Mumbai!

The US is having so many disasters and tragedies Youd almost think it was built on top of thousands of ancient indian burial grounds. Edit: Hey thanks for the gold stranger!

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, A Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a nightclub... The doorman stops them and says “Sorry, I can’t let you in without a Thai.”

Why do Indians hate snow? Because it's white and settles on their land. Edit: well now I know what people mean by rip inbox. Edit2: wtf happened to my headline, why is it Donald trump?

A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother... They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them! They named him Ravi O. Lee Sorry

An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell.. An American, an Indian, and a Russian got in Hell and plead to the Devil that they don't belong here. The Devil, bored, makes them an offer: "I will strike you 3 times with my whip, and if you survive, I'll let you go. You can use anything you want as a shield". The American goes first. He builds a high-tech shield from depleted uranium and composites, and hides behind it. The Devil strikes once - the shield cracks; twice - the shield falls apart; thrice - the American is no more. Next goes the Indian. He puts himself in some advanced Yoga position and goes into deep hibernation. The Devil strikes once - nothing; twice - the Indian shivers a bit; thrice - the Indian grunts, but lives. The Devil is amazed and tells him he's free to go. The Indian asks "May I stay and watch? In all jokes the Russians somehow come out on top. I want to see how he will do it this time". The Devil nods and turns to the Russian: "So, what will you use as a shield?" The Russian: "The Indian, of course".

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguans, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian, an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emarati, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Bissau-Guinean, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monégasque, a Mongolian, a Montenegrin, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomea Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turk, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean all go to a bar.. The doorman stops them and says "Sorry, I can't let you in without a Thai.

How about an Indian joke? A nice Indian woman gets up mid-flight to the US and shouts "Is there a doctor here?" A nice, serious guy approaches her quickly and tells her: "I am. What is the problem?" She replies: "Do you want to meet my daughter?"

An Afghan, an Albanian, an Algerian, an American, an Andorran, an Angolan, an Antiguan, an Argentine, an Armenian, an Australian... ..an Austrian, an Azerbaijani, a Bahamian, a Bahraini, a Bangladeshi, a Barbadian, a Barbudans, a Batswanan, a Belarusian, a Belgian, a Belizean, a Beninese, a Bhutanese, a Bolivian, a Bosnian, a Brazilian, a Brit, a Bruneian, a Bulgarian, a Burkinabe, a Burmese, a Burundian, a Cambodian, a Cameroonian, a Canadian, a Cape Verdean, a Central African, a Chadian, a Chilean, a Chinese, a Colombian, a Comoran, a Congolese, a Costa Rican, a Croatian, a Cuban, a Cypriot, a Czech, a Dane, a Djibouti, a Dominican, a Dutchman, an East Timorese, an Ecuadorean, an Egyptian, an Emirian, an Equatorial Guinean, an Eritrean, an Estonian, an Ethiopian, a Fijian, a Filipino, a Finn, a Frenchman, a Gabonese, a Gambian, a Georgian, a German, a Ghanaian, a Greek, a Grenadian, a Guatemalan, a Guinea-Bissauan, a Guinean, a Guyanese, a Haitian, a Herzegovinian, a Honduran, a Hungarian, an I-Kiribati, an Icelander, an Indian, an Indonesian, an Iranian, an Iraqi, an Irishman, an Israeli, an Italian, an Ivorian, a Jamaican, a Japanese, a Jordanian, a Kazakhstani, a Kenyan, a Kittian and Nevisian, a Kuwaiti, a Kyrgyz, a Laotian, a Latvian, a Lebanese, a Liberian, a Libyan, a Liechtensteiner, a Lithuanian, a Luxembourger, a Macedonian, a Malagasy, a Malawian, a Malaysian, a Maldivan, a Malian, a Maltese, a Marshallese, a Mauritanian, a Mauritian, a Mexican, a Micronesian, a Moldovan, a Monacan, a Mongolian, a Moroccan, a Mosotho, a Motswana, a Mozambican, a Namibian, a Nauruan, a Nepalese, a New Zealander, a Nicaraguan, a Nigerian, a Nigerien, a North Korean, a Northern Irishman, a Norwegian, an Omani, a Pakistani, a Palauan, a Palestinian, a Panamanian, a Papua New Guinean, a Paraguayan, a Peruvian, a Pole, a Portuguese, a Qatari, a Romanian, a Russian, a Rwandan, a Saint Lucian, a Salvadoran, a Samoan, a San Marinese, a Sao Tomean, a Saudi, a Scottish, a Senegalese, a Serbian, a Seychellois, a Sierra Leonean, a Singaporean, a Slovakian, a Slovenian, a Solomon Islander, a Somali, a South African, a South Korean, a Spaniard, a Sri Lankan, a Sudanese, a Surinamer, a Swazi, a Swede, a Swiss, a Syrian, a Taiwanese, a Tajik, a Tanzanian, a Thai, a Togolese, a Tongan, a Trinidadian or Tobagonian, a Tunisian, a Turkish, a Tuvaluan, a Ugandan, a Ukrainian, a Uruguayan, a Uzbekistani, a Venezuelan, a Vietnamese, a Welshman, a Yemenite, a Zambian and a Zimbabwean walk into a restaurant. "Sorry, we don't have that many tables left today," said the manager, "Please consider booking in advance the next time."

How do you tell the difference between an indian and African elephant One of them is an elephant

What’s the difference between an Indian and an African elephant? One of them is an elephant.

Fire me for driving too fast at 15 kph then tell me to drive back the district office? You got it boss!! Tl;dr fired by raging boss, MC extra $300, show up a week later in different job and new boss keeps me in old bosses face after finding out why. Gonna be kinda long one but I have an MC and a pro revenge in one. A friend reminded me of this when talking about all the forest fires burning in Canada right now. In the late 80s I got a job with the Ministry of Natural Resources driving to support fighting forest fires. Great job, just over double minimum wage (major bonus @ 19) and they had no limit to the number of hours you could work. Fire season started early & by mid May I was supporting one that was (I think, long time ago) 3-400 hectares and growing quickly (1 hectare = 2.5 acres). Back then I think the whole district was around around 100 000 sq. km (think all of Indiana), so there was a lot of driving. One day I get to the on site hq and get told to wait while they found me a return load. Little later I am told to go to the helicopter staging area to pick up the fire boss (FB). (To preface, the road was shit) I pick him and a few others up and make my way back. Half way there I hit a deep pot hole and the FB just loses it. Starts bellowing about goddamned kids speeding, no respect etc. For the 5 minutes it takes to get back. I found out on the way there that going to fast was not a good deal so made sure to not go faster than 15 kph (9 mph). As soon as we get to base camp slams his way out of the truck a screams 'YER FIRED'!! Get back to district and have them process you!! OK, Fuck you very much sir. We were deep, deep in the bush. I don't know how deep but it took me close to 7 hours to get there. Cue Malicious Compliance I grabbed 2 20l gas cans (5 gallons) and set off. Real, real slow. If 15 kph was to fast for these roads then the proper speed was obviously however fast the truck went at idle (unless there was a hill, I'm wasn't a monster). It took 22 hours to reach the first paved road and then I set the cruise control 5 kph below the limit and went to get fired. Extra $300ish ya me. I process out and I meet one of the guys (call him crew boss CB)who taught the level 1 forest fire fighter course I took before I got hired to drive. We got along well but there only 2 new full time hires that year and none on his crew. He had just come with one of his guys who broke his leg and was going to personnel to find someone new. I was quickly hired on as his 4th. 2 hours later I'm being driven to meet his crew at a fire. Couple says later that fire is declared out and we are off to a new fire. Yup. The fire I was fired from. Kinda revengish but it get better. Cue pro revenge. CB it turns out is besties with FB so FB has our crew as the initial response crew. This meant that we spent a lot of time riding in the helicopter with FB and responding to jump fires that would take minimal time to deal with. It took a week before he recognized me and I watched out the corner of my eye, something I thought was only in books or said as an exaggeration. This guy went from pink to red to actually turning purple. I couldn't hear what was being said but I see the skittle flowing out as he yelled into headset and I got some major side eye from CB for the rest of the flight. When CB asked about it later and I explained including the drive back he almost passed himself. Turns out (surprise), FB has a long history of exploding over nothing and taking it out on the nearest poor bastard. He ended up firing 2 more guys over the same thing and likely the same pothole. So CB knew what he was like but they got along really well. Turns out he also really liked poking the bear. For the rest of that fire CB made sure I was seated so I was the first person he saw if he looked over his shoulder. On a later fire our crew got admin duties and CB was FB's #2. I got to be as CB put his helper monkey and FB's jock itch. The rest of the crew knew so there wasn't any friction and they got a kick out it. It was a great summer and I worked for CB 3 more summers through Uni. Always went back with Great stories, really nice money (I collected unemployment during school not sure if it was legal but no one said anything and pretty sure time has run out any way) in amazing shape but with a really weird tan.

A Tibetan man, an Indian man, a German man and a Maltese man die and go to purgatory A Tibetan man, an Indian man, a German man and a Maltese man die and go to purgatory. And to pass the time, they begin discussing how they died. The Tibetan man says "I was driving a truck in San Gwann, and as im driving I see a man just standing in the middle of the road, eating a box of chicken satay. And as a Tibetan I'm forbidden to kill any living creature, so I swerved into the other lane and a motorbike crashes into me. The bike gets stuck in my wheels so I can't turn. And I crash right into a petrol station, ignite a puddle of gasoline on the floor and the whole thing explodes." The Indian guy says "Thats such a coincidence. I was in San Gwann, delivering chicken satay on Bolt Food. But when I got to the customer i realised my bag was unzipped and the chicken satay must have fallen somewhere in the road. As an Indian im very hard working so I drive back to find the chicken satay, and as im driving I see a man, standing in the middle of the road, eating the chicken satay. And im so distracted that i get hit by a truck, I get stuck under the wheels. The truck crashes into the petrol station, ignites a puddle of gasoline on the floor, and the whole thing explodes." The German guy says "That's so crazy! I was in San Gwann at a petrol station. And there was a big puddle of gasoline on the floor. And as a German i cant stand a mess on the floor. So I get a towel to mop up the gasoline but I see a man, standing in the middle of the road, eating a box of chicken satay. And im so confused that i forget about the puddle. Suddenly this huge truck crashes into the petrol station, ignites the puddle of gasoline, and the whole thing explodes." The Maltese guy has been very quiet, and doesnt seem to be listening to everyones stories. So they ask him, "how did you die?" And the Maltese guy says "It was very strange. I was crossing the road in San Gwann, and I see a takeout box on the floor. And I open it, and its full of chicken satay. So I begin eating the chicken satay. And all of a sudden, a truck whizzes past me, hits a motorbike, the motorbike gets stuck in the wheels, the truck crashes into a petrol station, ignites a puddle of gasoline, and the whole thing explodes." And the other guys ask "But then how did you die?" And the Maltese guy says "Im allergic to peanuts"

A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana The fire department was called to put the fire out, but it proved to be more than the small town fire department could handle so someone suggested that a nearby volunteer fire department be called. Though there was doubt that they would be of any help, the call was made. The volunteer fire department arrived in a dilapidated, old fire truck. They drove straight towards the fire and, to everyone’s surprise, stopped right in the middle of the flames. The volunteer firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily controllable parts. The farmer was so impressed with the their work and so grateful that his farm had been spared, that he presented them with a check for $1,000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds. "That should be obvious," he responded. "The first thing we’re gonna do is get the brakes fixed on that stupid fire truck."

Why do Indians hate snow? It's white and it's on their land.

Dark jokes 1. Why can't orphans play baseball? They don't know where home is 2. What's the worst part about breaking up with a japanese person? You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message 3. What did kermit the frog say at Jim henson's funeral? Nothing 4. What's white on top and black on the bottom? Society 5. What's the difference between john wayne and jack daniels? Jack daniels is still killing indians 6. Penn State moved the Jerry Sandusky statue to the library. When you see him, you have to stay quiet. 7. Why does dr pepper come in a bottle? His wife is dead 8. What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chick pea? I wouldn't pay 40 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face. 9. What is the last thing a redneck says before he dies? Hold my beer 10. Who's the opposite of christopher reeves? Christopher walkin 11. What's the difference between usian bolt and hitler? Usian bolt can finish a race 12. Why did princess diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt 13. How many potatoes does it take to kill an irishman? Zero 14. What did the left tower say to the right tower? Can't talk right now, gotta catch a flight 15. Why are suicide jokes long? Cause people who commited suicide lived shorter 16. What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion? People cry when they cut up an onion 17. What did the disabled boy get for christmas? Cancer

A native american hitchhiker was picked up by a slick city man who was driving past the reservation. As they were driving along, the indian noticed a brown paper bag on the dashboard and inquired as to its contents. The city man replied: "It's a bottle of wine, I got it for my wife". The Indian looked forward at the road, nodded his head solemnly, and said: "Good trade". Edit: WOW! Initial response: http://i.imgur.com/UnpW5R6.gif Our first joke ever on Reddit and it fucking exploded....

Tribal Wisdom So a cowboy is riding along a trail in the old west and sees an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground. As he gets closer he hears the Indian saying to himself "Wagon...two gray horses...two passengers, man and woman...man driving" The cowboy goes "Wow! you can tell all that by just putting your ear to the ground?" The Indian replies "No. Wagon pass half hour ago, run me over."

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Indian man were waiting outside the delivery room. The matron comes out and explains that the hospital has accidentally mixed up the babies. The Scot goes straight in and picks up the brown baby. The Indian says "Are you sure that's your baby?" The Scot says "No, but there's no way I'm going to risk leaving here with an English baby."

Since reddit has been all about native americans lately.. An Indian and a cowboy are walking through the prairie one day. The Indian stops and puts his ear to the ground and says "ah, buffalo come." In which the cowboy replies: "Dang, you can tell that from stickin yer ear to the ground?" Indian says: "No. Ear sticky."

There once was an Indian who had only one testicle... There once was an Indian who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'. He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!' The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion. The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.' Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die! Why??? Everyone knows... You can't kill Two Birds with OneStone!!!

A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men , he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."

Hillary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York. She spoke for almost an hour about her plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. She referred to her time as a U.S. Senator and how she had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.   Although Hillary was vague about the details of her plans, she seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about her ideas for helping her “red sisters and brothers.”   At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes presented Hillary with a plaque inscribed with her new Indian name, “Walking Eagle.” The proud Hillary then departed in her motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds.   A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to Hillary.   They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

So the Lone Ranger is riding down the range when he gets captured by some Indians... The tribal leader shows the Lone Ranger his deepest respect because the Ranger is considered an honorable man. The leader offers the Ranger three wishes before the Ranger is to be put to death by fire. The Ranger calls for his faithful horse, Silver, and whispers in the horse's ear. The horse rides off into the distance and a short time later returns with a beautiful blonde riding in his saddle. The tribal leader is impressed and offers his personal tent to the Ranger. After some time in the tent the Ranger emerges and asks for his horse again. He whispers in the horse's ear and Silver darts off into the distance. Silver returns with a beautiful brunette on his saddle. The tribal leader is impressed yet again. He gestures toward his tent. Once the Ranger emerges from the tent he asks to see his horse one last time. The Ranger slaps Silver as hard as he can and says "Read my lips you stupid horse! I said posse!"

A cowboy and an Indian are riding horseback. The Indian stops his horse, jumps off and puts his ear to the ground. He looks up at the cowboy and says, "Buffalo come". The cowboy looks around and then back at the Indian. "How the hell do you know that?" The Indian replied, "Ear sticky".

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman.......... An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry" says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group. "But you can't come in here without a Thai".

A man comes to the United States from India And he's only here a few months when he becomes very ill. He goes to doctor after doctor, but none of them can help him. Finally, he goes to an Indian doctor. The doctor says, "Take dis bucket, go into de other room, shit in de bucket, piss on de shit, and then put your head down over de bucket and directly smell and breathe in de fumes for ten minutes." The man takes the bucket, goes into the other room, shits in the bucket, pisses on the shit, bends over, and, eyes wide open, breathes in the fumes for ten minutes through both his nose and mouth. Then he comes back to the doctor and says, "It worked! I feel terrific. What was it?" The doctor replies, "You were homesick."

I met a man from India and he gave me this one A Frenchman, an American and an Indian are on a plane. The Frenchman says to the stewardess "I can tell what city we are flying over just by sticking my hand out the window!" Of course she doesn't believe him so he say here, watch, and he sticks his hand out the window and proudly tells everyone "We are flying over Paris" Amused the stewardess asks "how could you know that?", well says the Frenchman "I just touched the Eiffel tower" Not wanting to be shown up, the American boasts that he too can tell where they are, he sticks his hand out the window as says "see here, I knew it, we're actually flying over New York City, I can tell because I just touched the Empire State Building" By this point the Indian decides that he would like to play along, he looks at the other two and says "let me see if I can tell where we really are" he sticks his hand out the window and pulls it back in. Then he informs everyone "it turns out we are actually flying over New Deli"... the stewardess leans in and asks "How do you know we're flying over New Deli just by sticking your arm out the window" the Indian man replies "My watch is gone"

Worst Ethnic Joke Ever An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a southerner, a New Englander, and a Californian), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, a Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 Africans walk into a fine restaurant.... ....... "I'm sorry," said the maître d', "you can't come in here without a Thai."

The United States has such bad luck It's almost as if it was build on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

A bunch of people walk into a restaurant... A Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, a New Zealander, and a South African .... all walk into a very fine restaurant. After carefully scrutinizing the group, the Maître D says: "I'm sorry...You can't come in here without a Thai."

What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing indians.

Apparently Indian fighter jets dropped 1000 onion bhajis on Pakistan this afternoon A spokesperson said, “that’s just for starters”

General Custer’s Last Stand An eccentric billionaire wanted a mural painted on his library wall, so he called an artist. Describing what he wanted, the billionaire said, "I am a history buff, and I would like your interpretation of the last thing that went through Custer's mind before he died. I am going out of town on business for a week, and when I return, I expect to see it completed." Upon his return, the billionaire went to the library to examine the finished work. To his surprise, he found a painting of a cow with a halo. Surrounding this were hundreds of Indians in various sexual positions. Furious, he called the artist in. "What the hell is this?" screamed the billionaire. "Why, that's exactly what you asked for," said the artist smugly. "No! I didn't ask for a mural of pornographic filth. I asked for an interpretation of Custer's last thoughts!" "And there you have it," said the artist. "I call it, 'Holy cow, look at all those fucking Indians.'"

A man boarded an aircraft at London 's Heathrow Airport for New York... ... and taking his seat as he settled in, he noticed a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He realised she was heading straight toward his seat and bingo - she took the seat right beside him. "Hello", he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled enchantingly and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual Nymphomaniac convention in the United States ." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded,” I use my experience to disprove some of the popular myths about sexuality.." "Really", he smiled, "what myths are those?" "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Greek descent. We have also found that the best potential lovers in all categories are the Irish." Suddenly the woman became uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I really shouldn't be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!" "Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Papadopoulos, but my friends call me Paddy."

The Indian That Never Forgets Once a man was traveling through the west on vacation, when he saw a sign that said, "Meet the Indian Who Never Forgets, Next Exit". Well, being curious, the man stops at the attraction to see the Indian. He asks the man, "What did you have for breakfast on June 9, 1978?" The Indian replies "Eggs!" Well, everyone has eggs for breakfast, this guy is a charlatan, the man thinks. The man tells his friend about the experience, and his friend replies "That's disrespectful, you should greet an indian in their native language. Next time instead of "Hi" say "How". 10 years later, the same man is on vacation again, and sees the sign for the Indian again. He thinks what the heck, I'll stop in and see him. Remembering his friend's advice, when the man approaches the Indian, he holds up his hand and says, "How!" The Indian replies, "Scrambled."

A Bacon Tree Way back in the cowboy days, a wagon train was travelling West and hadn't seen anyone in days. One day, they came across an old Jewish man sitting under a tree, all by himself. The leader of the wagon went over to the Jew and said "Hey, what are you doing way out here?" The Jew replied, and told the leader "Ven I came to this country they give me a job, sit under this tree and warn people, dont go over the hill! Over the hill is a bacon tree." "A bacon tree?" asked the wagon train leader. "Yah, ah bacon tree. Trust me." The leader went back and tells his people that it's just some crazy Jew saying something about bacon. So the wagon train goes up the hill and down the other side. Suddenly, Indians attack and massacre everyone except the leader, who manages to escape back to the old Jew. The near-dead man starts shouting. "You old fool! You sent us to our deaths, why didn't you warn us!! We went over the hill but there was no bacon tree. Just hundreds of Indians, who killed everyone." The old Jew holds up his hand and says "Oy, I made a mistake, it vuz not a bacon tree. It vuz a ham bush!"

The World's Best Ethnic Joke. An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Turk, a German, an Indian, an American, an Argentinean, a Dane, am Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Columbian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portugese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyztani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukranian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, and a Norwegian walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," said the maître d', "but you can't come in here without a Thai."

Indian Hell!! An Indian dies and goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He goes to the German hell and asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." The man does not like the sound of that at all, so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all more or less the same as the German hell. Then he comes to the Indian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in. Amazed, he asks, "What do they do here?" He is told, "First they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Indian devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day." "But that is exactly the same as all the other hell - why are there so many people waiting to get in?" "Because maintenance is so bad that the electric chair does not work, someone has stolen all the nails from the bed, and the devil is a former Govt servant, so he comes in, signs the register and then goes to the canteen..." Edit:- This joke pretty much sums up the government in my country.

Cowboy and Indians. An Indian scouting party captures a cowboy from a bar and brings him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, "You going die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. At sundown third day, you die. What first wish?" The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse." The indians get his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse's ear and whispers something, then slaps the horse on the back. The horse takes off. Two hours later, the horse comesback with a naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes into the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians look at each other, figuring, "Typical white man... only think one thing." The second day, the chief says, "What wish today?" The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again." The indians bring him his horse. The cowboy leans over to the horse and whispers something in the horse's ear, then slaps it on the back. Two hours later, the horse comes back with a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in the teepee with the cowboy. The Indians shake their heads, figuring, "Typical white man going die tomorrow ... can only think one thing." The last day comes, and the chief says, "This last wish, white man. What want?" The cowboy says, "I want to see my horse again." The Indians bring him his horse. The cowboy grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hard and yells, "Read my lips you idiot! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!"

What did the indian boy say to his mom before he left? Mumbai

An Indian man is at home... An Indian man is at home, cooking for his family. He is a very wealthy scientist, so he was able to purchase a tandoor. Tonight he decides to break it in. As he takes his bread out, he notices something strange. It almost falls apart in his hands. As he gets it on the plate, it turns into a viscous liquid. Amazed, he began trying to figure out what this was. After several minutes of keeping his family waiting, he let's out an audible "Aha!" He then proceeds to slam his fist onto the bread. Miraculously, the bread held together and almost seemed to form a solid. "Just as I thought." He says. "A Naan-Newtonian Fluid."

Indian restaurants make most of their money off of the bread.. They're naan-profit organizations.

Two Jewish men.. Sid and Al, were sitting in a Indian restaurant in New York . Sid asked Al, 'Are there any Jewish people of our faith born and raised in India ?' Al replied, 'I don't know, let's just ask our waiter.' When the waiter came by, Al asked him, 'Are there any Indian Jews?' The waiter said, 'I won’t be knowing, but I will ask  the Chef .After he returned from the kitchen a few minutes later  and said, 'No sir, no Indian Jews.' Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, 'Are you absolutely sure?' The waiter, realizing he was dealing with 'foreigners' gave the expected answer, 'I check again,' and went back into the kitchen. While the waiter was away in the kitchen, Sid said, 'I find it hard to believe that there are no Jews in India  . Our people are scattered everywhere.' The waiter returned and said, 'The Chef and the Captai! n my boss and they all say there is no Indian Jews.' 'Are you certain?' Al asked once again, 'I just can't believe there are no Indian Jews!' Listen you assholes , I asked EVERYONE,' replied the frustrated waiter. 'All we have is Mango Jews, Pineapple Jews, Orange Jews, Coconut Jews & Tomato Jews!   - No Indian Jews OK!!!!!???!!!

Hillary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York. She spoke for almost an hour about her plans for increasing every Native American’s present standard of living. She referred to her time as a U.S. Senator and how she had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate. Although Hillary was vague about the details of her plans, she seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about her ideas for helping her “red sisters and brothers.” At the conclusion of her speech, the Tribes presented Hillary with a plaque inscribed with her new Indian name, “Walking Eagle.” The proud Hillary then departed in her motorcade to a fundraiser, waving to the crowds. A news reporter later asked the group of chiefs how they came to select the new name they had given to Hillary. They explained that “Walking Eagle” is the name given to a bird so full of shit it can no longer fly.

The Native American An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and pulling a male buffalo with the other He says to the waiter: "Want coffee." The waiter says, "Sure Chief. Coming right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee..... The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter: "Want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?" The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Training for position in United States Congress. Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, Disappear for rest of day."

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... ...a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, an American, an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian,a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Columbian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, and a Norwegian walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," said the maître d', "but you can't come in here without a Thai."

A man sits next to a beautiful blond woman on a plane. The man is very excited by this prospect of sitting next such a beautiful woman but is displeased when she turns onto her side, facing away from him to fall asleep. So he says to her, "Let's play a game. I'll ask you a question and if you can't answer it, you give me $5. Then you can ask me a question and if I can't answer it I'll give you $5." The woman says she doesn't want to play any games. "Tell you what, I'll ask you a question and if you can't answer it you'll give you $5. And then you can ask me a question and if I can't answer it I'll give you $500!" This causes the woman to sit straight up and pay attention. Pleased with himself the man asks his question. "What is the capitol of Indiana?" The woman shrugs and give the man $5. Then the woman asks the man her question. "What goes up a mountain on 3 legs and down a mount on 4?" The man is stumped. He has no idea. He brings out his laptop and searches the internet but is unable to find the answer, so he give the woman $500. She takes the money puts it in her purse and turns over to fall asleep. "Wait, what is the answer to the question?" The woman hands the man $5.

Topical Jokes for 10/9 (for best results, read in the voice of your favorite late night host) In Indiana, a pizza delivery man received a $1,200 tip from college students. College officials applauded the act of charity, until they realized the “pizza” was just a box with $1,200 dollars worth of weed in it. To thwart corruption, traffic police in Thailand will now receive a bonus if they refuse bribes. The plan affects all levels of Thailand police, from the street-level Bribe Solicitor, to Director of Bribes, all the way up to Bribe King. …the anti-corruption program will be funded by confiscated bribes. Lawmakers have approved $700 million dollars to help fight Ebola. The lawmakers announced the news from inside their $700 million dollar Ebola-proof bunker. In North Korea, Kim Jong-Un has not made a public appearance for several weeks. Kim’s unexplained absence has sparked rumors in the state-run media that everything is totally fine.

3 Tough Cowboys Three cowboys are sitting around the campfire after a long day on the plains. The first cowboy says, "I'm the toughest man in the west, I once took three arrows in my back and rode 2 days through Indian infested badlands to get help." The second cowboy says, "Bah, I'm the toughest man in the west. I was shot off my horse, scalped and left for dead. I crawled 60 miles through the desert on my belly to the nearest fort." The third cowboy said nothing as he stirred the coals of the fire with his dick.

Ethnic joke... An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans... ... walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group... "You can't come in here without a Thai."

Translated Indian Joke A man is leaving his village for the first time to visit the big city. His fellow villagers don't want him to get ripped off, so they give him some advice - never agree to the seller's price... always ask for half the price. So the man arrives at the city, and sees an umbrella store. He heads in to buy an umbrella. He asks the clerk how much for an umbrella. The clerk replies: $10. Sticking to his strategy, the man says: How about $5? The clerk tries to negotiate, but the man doesn't budge. Finally, the clerk agrees.. I'll sell it to you for $5. The man then replies: How about $2.50? The clerk is taken aback, but eventually rationalizes that just making the sale is worth something... and agrees to $2.50. The man goes on... how about $1.25? This continues for a while, with the man wearing the clerk down, until it's down to $0.02... and the man says how about $0.01? The clerk is so fed up, he tells the man... it's already down so low... just take it for free. The man finally seems satisfied... but then turns to the clerk and says... How about 2?

Three American Indians get lost in the forest.. Indian No.1: "What do we do?" Indian No.2: "I don't know, we're Indian, we're not supposed to get lost in the forest!" Indian No.3: "We could do like the white man and fire three shots into the air." Indian No.2: "How does that help?" Indian No.3: "Well, when the white man gets lost in the forest, he fires three shots into the air and then somebody comes and saves him." Indian No.2: "That sounds like a great idea!" *Points to Indian No.1 and says*: "Go ahead and fire three shots in the air." *Indian No.1 fires three shots into the air and they wait. After an hour, nothing happens.* Indian No.1: "So, how long are we supposed to wait?" Indian No.2: "I don't know. I guess it depends how close they are. Maybe we should try again? Indian No.3 *(to Indian No.1)*: "Yeah, try firing three more shots in the air." Indian No.1: "I would, but I only have two arrows left." *This joke was told to me by a Sioux elder who also told me: "If you're not worth laughing at, you're not worth much." Of course, he was referring to the fact that we must be allowed to laugh at each other.*

How national weather service predicts weather. It was autumn, and the Red Indians asked their New Chief if the winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Red Indian chief in a modern society, he couldn't tell what the weather was going to be. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he replied to his Tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect wood to be prepared. But also being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked 'Is the coming winter going to be cold?' 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold indeed,' the weather man responded. So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood. A week later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Is it going to be a very cold winter?' 'Yes,' the man at National Weather Service again replied, 'It's definitely going to be a very cold winter.' The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later, he called the National Weather Service again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' 'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's going to be one of the coldest winters ever.' 'How can you be so sure?' the Chief asked. The weatherman replied, 'The Red Indians are collecting wood like crazy.'

Indian chief So there's this Indian reservation, and the food stamps are 3 days late. People are starting to get uppity about it. So the local chief has to leave and go talk to the government people about it. He doesn't know English very well, so he is scared. But he makes sure not to let other see fear on his face. He goes down to the office, gets in line, and an old woman yells to him from the side of the room "hey! What's your name?" He answers "Red Eagle Circle Water." The woman replies "You don't hear a name like that every day." The chief is confused, and he says back "Yeah I do."

Why don't Indians like snow? Because it's white and on their land

An American, an Indian and a Greek go to hell... An american, an indian and a greek find themselves in hell. Satan reveals himself and tells them "you are all condemned to spend your eternity in hell. HOWEVER, I will give you one chance to make it to heaven. I will whip your back thrice with this mighty whip. If you show no pain, I will allow you to heaven. If you flinch at all, you stay in hell. You may choose one item to protect your back from the three cracks I will inflict on you" First is the American. When asked what he will use for protection, he requests a rock. A big rock is placed on his back *CRACK* the first crack of the whip breaks the rock *CRACK* the second one hits the american's back and he howls in pain. The american stays in hell. Second is the Indian. When he is asked what he would like to protect his back, he says "Nothing. I have been practicing meditation my whole life and have an immense pain tolerance. I will require no item to help me" Satan, although surprised, agrees. *CRACK* nothing *CRACK* no reaction at all *CRACK* not even a flinch "well" says satan "thats impressive. you are free to go to heaven" The Indian replies "wait, first I want to see how the Greek handles this. The Greeks always seem to weasel their way out of things and I will take joy in seeing him fail in this" "So be it" says Satan. He then asks the Greek "What will you choose to protect you from my mighty whip?" The Greek replies "ill take the Indian guy"

What does an Indian kid say before leaving his house for the day?.. Mumbai

Ticket Please! A group 3 Pakistanis and a group 3 Indians were all heading to the Cricket World cup via Train. Upon entering the train the Indian group saw the Pakistanis just pay for a single while they bought 3 individual tickets. When the conductor came along the Indians saw that all 3 Pakistanis quickly filed in to the bathroom. The conductor knocked on the door and asked for the ticket. A single hand came out and handed him the ticket. Observing this the Indians decided to try it on their return trip. On the return trip the Indians bought a single ticket and the same group of Pakistanis bought no ticket at all! When the conductor came along the 3 Pakistanis filed into one bathroom while the 3 Indians filed into another. Then one Pakistani came out of the bathroom knocked on the door of the Indians bathroom and asked, "Ticket please!"

At Indian Restaurant "Those triangular pastry parcels with the spicy filling were delicious!" "Samosa?" "No, thank you, I'm full now."

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Two Pakistani gentlemen boarded a shuttle out of London for Lisbon. Two Pakistani gentlemen boarded a shuttle out of London for Lisbon. One sat in the window seat the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an Indian got on and took the aisle seat next to the Pakistanis. He kicked off his shoes wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Pakistani in the window seat said "I think I'll go up and get a Coke." (Shuttle flights do not have cabin attendants but you probably knew that.) "No problem," said the Indian. "I'll get it for you." While he was gone the Pakistani picked up the Indian's shoe and spat in it. The Indian brought back the coke when the other Pakistani said, "That looks good. Think I'll have one too." Again the Indian obligingly goes to fetch it and while he is gone, the Pakistani picks up the other shoe and spits in it. The Indian returns with the coke and they all sit back and enjoy the short flight. When the plane was landing, the Indian slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened. How long must this go on? he asked. This enmity between our peoples ...this hatred...your spitting in my shoes and me pissing in your Coke? "

A man boards an airplane... A man boards an airplane and takes his seat. As he settles in, he glances up and sees a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realizes she is heading straight towards his seat, and a wave of nervous anticipation washes over him. Lo and behold, she takes the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurts out, “Business trip or vacation?” The woman turns, smiles and says, “Business. I’m going to the annual Nymphomaniac Convention in Chicago.” The man swallows hard and is instantly crazed with excitement. Struggling to maintain his outward cool, he calmly asks, “What’s your business role at this convention?” “Lecturer,” she says. “I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality.” “Really,” he says. “What myths are those?” “Well,” she explains, “one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it’s men of Jewish decent.” Suddenly, the women becomes very embarrassed and blushes. “I'm sorry,” she says, “I shouldn’t be discussing this with you, I don't even know your name!” “Tonto” the man says as he extends his hand. “Tonto Goldstein.”

Royal wedding Where did Prince Charles spend his honeymoon? Indiana! (Aye, it's an old one, but the search facility makes me think it's never been made reddit previous, so I post it for the education & betterment of the younguns.)

Custer's Last Thought There was a man who was obsessed about the wild west. Cowboys and Indians, this guy loved it all. One day he was in his house looking at his already massive collection, and suddenly he gets an idea how to expand it furthermore. He calls up a painter and says "I want you to paint me a picture of Custer's last thought." The painter thinks for a moment, agrees, and tells the man to call back in a week. The next week the man gets a call from the painter, inviting him to come over to his gallery. The man quickly drives over to the painter's gallery, and looks at the painting. It was of a fish jumping out of a small pool of water, with a halo on it. And surrounding the pool, there were literally hundreds of native Americans engaged in sexual intercourse. The man admires it for a bit more, then asks the painter, "what does this have to do with Custer's last thought?" The painter says "It does look complex, but the concept is quite simple. Holy mackerel that's a lot of fucking Indians."

Colonel Custer's widow [NSFW, language] Heard this on the Sopranos, hopefully won't screw it up. A few weeks after his death, Col. Custer's widow felt it necessary to commemorate her late husband. She found one of the best painters of the time and asked him to paint a mural of Custer's final moments. A month goes by and the painting is finished. When the widow goes to see it she is shocked. "What is this?" she asked. "It's just a cow with a halo and a bunch of indians having sex." The painter replies "I did what you asked and portrayed Custer's final moments, this is a depiction of what he was thinking. 'Holy cow! look at all those fucking indians.'"

A soldier was given the job of hunting for buffalo To help him, he hired an Indian Scout. The two of them set off on their journey to find buffalo. After riding awhile, the Indian gets off his horse, puts his ear to the ground and says "Humm, buffalo come". The soldier scans the area with his binoculars, but sees nothing. He is confused and says to the Indian, "I do not see anything, how do you know buffalo come"? and the Indian replies, "ear sticky".

"Five Horses Is Her Name" A man asked an American Indian what was his wife's name. He replied, "She is called Five Horses". The man said, "That's an unusual name for a wife. What does it mean?" The Old Indian answered, "It old Indian name. It mean ..." "NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!"

What is the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing Indians.

Two cowboys... Two cowboys are riding along when they spot an indian lying on the ground in the distance. The first cowboy turns to the second and says "what the hell do you think he is doing?". The second cowboy turns to him and says "he is listening. You see these here indian fellers put an ear to the ground so they know what is going on for miles around". "No way, you are lying!" responds the first cowboy. So the two cowboys ride up and the second cowboy says "listen to what he says". The indian lifts his head, points north and says "Covered wagon, pulled with four horses, with a family of six inside and all of their belongings, 2 miles that way". "WHAT! That's amazing!" shouts the first cowboy "How did you do that?!?". The indian lifts his head and says "sons-of-bitches ran me over about 20 minutes ago!".

Every State Summed Up in One (Probably Accurate) Sentence Alabama: Y’all say “y’all” so much it’s basically a greeting and a farewell. Alaska: Where even the mosquitoes wear coats in the summer. Arizona: Your car doubles as a grill every summer — no need to buy one. Arkansas: Home to more diamonds than you might expect (just don’t forget your pickaxe). California: Where avocados cost more than your coffee. Colorado: Great mountains, and oxygen levels that remind you you’re not a superhero. Connecticut: Small state, big traffic jams (and lots of coffee). Delaware: So quick to drive through, you might miss it entirely. Florida: Where the wildlife sometimes scares the locals. Georgia: Bless your heart is said with either love or sass, sometimes both. Hawaii: Paradise until the sudden rainstorm reminds you who’s boss. Idaho: Potatoes that might just be the best thing you eat all day. Illinois: Deep-dish pizza and traffic pick your challenge. Indiana: Cornfields as far as the eye can see and friendly neighbors to match. Iowa: Home to farms, fields, and endless waves from passing cars. Kansas: Windy enough to mess up any perfectly planned hairstyle. Kentucky: Bourbon and bluegrass make for a winning combo. Louisiana: Cajun food and music that never quits. Maine: Lobster fresh enough to make you reconsider everything else. Maryland: Crab cakes that deserve their own fan club. Massachusetts: Where parking your car involves a whole new language. Michigan: More lakes than you can count, and a few frozen toes. Minnesota: Nice folks who say “you betcha” like it’s a secret handshake. Mississippi: Sweet tea strong enough to keep you going all day. Missouri: Show Me State — and they might just show you a shortcut. Montana: Big skies, bigger mountains, and bugs that want to say hi. Nebraska: Cornfields that seem to go on forever and that’s just fine. Nevada: Where you can try your luck and enjoy the desert heat. New Hampshire: Live free or freeze trying but always with a smile. New Jersey: Every exit has a story, and every diner is legendary. New Mexico: Land of enchantment and some seriously tasty salsa. New York: The city that never sleeps, mostly thanks to the honking. North Carolina: BBQ wars that bring serious competition. North Dakota: So flat, you can watch your dog run away for days. Ohio: Heart of it all, with buckeyes everywhere you look. Oklahoma: Tornado alley’s proud home with plenty of friendly faces. Oregon: Coffee, hiking, and trees you just want to hug. Pennsylvania: Cheesesteaks and Steelers — what else do you need? Rhode Island: Small enough to explore in an afternoon, big enough to surprise you. South Carolina: Sweet tea, sweet accents, and sweeter people. South Dakota: Mount Rushmore’s quiet but proud neighbor. Tennessee: Country music, moonshine, and beautiful hills. Texas: Everything’s bigger especially the hats. Utah: Ski in the morning, snorkel in the afternoon. Vermont: Maple syrup runs thicker than most things here. Virginia: History everywhere and backroads you’ll want to get lost on. Washington: Rainy days make the coffee taste even better. West Virginia: Wild, wonderful, and full of hills for your workout. Wisconsin: Cheese, Packers, and enough dairy cows to start a party. Wyoming: So open and peaceful you might just lose track of time. This is not supposed to be offensive at all just make people laugh if anyone finds it offensive I'm sorry. This is supposed to be funny.

When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, some of the training of the astronauts took place on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. When NASA was preparing for the Apollo project, some of the training of the astronauts took place on a Navajo Indian reservation. One day, a Navajo elder and his son were herding sheep and came across the space crew. The old man, who spoke only Navajo, asked a question that his son translated. "What are these guys in the big suits doing?" A member of the crew said they were practicing for their trip to the moon. The old man got all excited and asked if he could send a message to the moon with the astronauts. Recognizing a promotional opportunity, the NASA folks found a tape recorder. After the old man recorded his message, they asked his son to translate it. He refused. The NASA PR people brought the tape to the reservation, where the rest of the tribe listened and laughed, but they refused to translate the elder's message to the moon. Finally, the NASA crew called in an official government translator. His translation of the old man's message was "Watch out for these guys; they have come to steal your land."

Indian On The Road I'm driving from Santa Fe to Albuquerque when I see an American Indian lying on the road with his ear to the ground. Curious, I pull over, walk up to him and ask, "Excuse me, what are you doing?" He says, "Silver 1991 Chevy station wagon, one man, one woman, two children". I say, "Wow, you can tell all that just by listening to the road?" He says, "Heck no, they just ran me over".

Very Funny Joke One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of Indians attaked them and knocked them out. When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne. The chief then said, "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me." So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed. Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed. The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!" The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."

Lewis and Clark Lewis and Clark were walking through Montana when they met an Indian scout who offered to help them hunt buffalo. The scout took them out in the morning and put his ear to the ground. After a while, he said "Buffalo come." Lewis asked the scout, "How do you know?" The scout said, "Face sticky."

What the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? John Wayne stopped killing Indians a long time ago.

Greatest situational joke I've ever told... A girl I know was talking about how her white mum was an Indian chef, which my other friend couldn't quite grasp and said "How can your mum be an Indian chef if she's not Indian?" I replied "You can be a pizza chef and not be a pizza". Had a couple people in tears saying that so I thought I'd share it, might have been a 'you-had-to-be-there' moment.

donkey A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?" "Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you." The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey. One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first." The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey. Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?" "We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."

As told to me by an indian bus driver overseas... Why don't rabbits make noise when they fuck? Because they have cotton balls. Apologies if it's a repost.

GOD ENJOYS A GOOD LAUGH! There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother. 2. He liked Gospel. 3. He didn't get a fair trial. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father's business. 2. He lived at home until he was 33. 3. He was sure his Mother was a virgin and his Mother was sure He was God. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Italian: 1. He talked with His hands. 2. He had wine with His meals. 3. He used olive oil. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was a Californian: 1. He never cut His hair. 2. He walked around barefoot all the time. 3. He started a new religion. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was an American Indian: 1. He was at peace with nature. 2. He ate a lot of fish. 3. He talked about the Great Spirit. But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Irish: 1. He never got married. 2. He was always telling stories. 3. He loved green pastures. But the most compelling evidence of all - 3 proofs that Jesus was a woman: 1. He fed a crowd at a moment's notice when there was virtually no food. 2. He kept trying to get a message across to a bunch of men who just didn't get it. 3. And even when He was dead; He had to get up because there was still work to do.

What's the difference between Jack Daniel's and General Custer? Jack Daniel's is still killing indians.

Hey Reddit, I wanna hear your funniest DIRTY joke. One day in the forest, 3 guys were just hiking along a trail when all of a sudden, a huge pack of indians attaked them and knocked them out. When they woke up, they were at the leader of the tribe's throne. The chief then said "All of your lives may be spared if you can find ten of one fruit and bring them back to me." So after a while the first man returned with 10 apples. The cheif then ordered him to stick all ten of them up his butt without making any expression at all on his face. He had a little bit of trouble with the first one and started crying while trying to put the next one in. He was soon killed. Later, the next guy came in with 10 grapes. The cheif soon ordered him to do the same as the first guy. After to the 9th grape, the man started laughing so hard for no apperant reason, and was killed. The first two guys soon met in heaven and the first guy ask the second, "Why did you start laughing? You only needed one more grape and you'd have gotten away!" The second guy answered while still laughing, "I couldn't help it. I saw the third guy walking in with pineapples."

The Native American Weatherman A director is shooting a movie in a desert near an Indian reservation. One day, a native american comes up to him and says "Rain today." The director doesn't pay much attention, but towards the middle of the day, it rains. The director is now impressed, and instantly hires the native american to predict weather for him. The cycle continues until the director is about to shoot the most important scene of the film. He asks the native: "What's the weather like today?" He says "Don't know." "What? What do you mean you don't know?" "Radio broken."

I'm writing a book about Indian food... It's gonna be a naan-fiction.

How much cash can you make robbing an Indian restaurant? As much as you can curry.

How many Indians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Your laughter is important to us. You punchline will be delivered in the order in which it was requested.

Why do Redditors post pics of East Indian food? For that sweet, sweet Korma...

I've found a great 24-hour Indian restaurant It's my favorite nonstop naan-stop

General Custer's Wife So General Custer's wife goes to an artist and asks the man to draw her husband's finally words. A few days later, she returns to the artist. The painting he's made consists of several piles of manure that have halos, and a group of Native Americans that appear to be having sex. Irate, she yells at the artist. "I asked you to paint my husband's final words!" "Ma'am," the artist says, "General Custer's final words were 'Holy shit, look at all those fucking Indians!'"

Today I went to an Indian restaurant and asked for bread They told me they had naan.

CONVERSATION ON AN AIRPLANE A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw a very beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?" She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Nymphomania Convention in Chicago". He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?" "Lecturer," she responded. "I use my experience to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really, " he said, "what myths are those?" "Well," she explained, "one popular myth is that African American men are the most well endowed when, in fact, it's the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that French men are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent. We have, however, found that the best potential lover in all categories is the Southern redneck." Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name." "Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein ... but my friends call me Bubba."

A traditional Indian woman walks into a bar for the first time... She sits down between two men. She hears the first man says to the bartender "Johnny Walker, single." Then second man says to the bartender "Jack Daniels, single." The bartender turns to the Indian woman... She says "Pushpaben Patel, Married."

Why can't Indiana Jones find a long lasting relationship? Bad dates.

An Englishman, a Welshman and an Indian... ...are at a hospital. All of their wives had given birth that day, but there was mix-up with the babies and the doctors were unsure who's baby was who's, and there was no way to tell so the three fathers had to pick a baby each. The indian was quite sure which baby was his, because his child had brown skin, so he let the Englishman pick first. The Englishman goes into the room with the babies and leaves with the brown baby, much to the Indian's terror who says: "what are you doing? That baby is obviously mine!" to which the Englishman replies: "Yeah, but one of those babies is Welsh and I'm not taking any chances."

What do you call a person who delivers Indian food? Currier.