Robin Williams

The setup points the reader toward 'If you get stopped by the police you can get out of the car', then the trigger 'going, “officer, I’ve had a few cocktails.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like, “good luck with the economy, little African prince. Ha ha ha! Take care, Simba.', then the trigger 'Ha ha ha.” And he was transforming as we speak.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And they get wide… like Broadway. And she’ll also feed the infant. The male will assist.', then the trigger 'But we do have one major design flaw.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m going back to church.” But it’s weird. The Vatican and homosexuality– oil, water.', then the trigger 'The Pope is always, “homosexuality is an abomination.” Time out.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward '“By who?” Osama bin Laden. “That guy from Afghanistan? Didn’t we used to send him weapons?” Yeah, I know!', then the trigger '“We went after him, right?” Yeah.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Grandma, you’ve got two kidneys. We need a porch. Let’s do this.', then the trigger 'And do not sell grandma’s kidneys to that Hasidic Rabbi in New Jersey.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'In California this summer all the State Parks caught on fire which was sad because these parks are full of weed.', then the trigger 'It’s bad news.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Do you think that might’ve been– she’s pretty wild. Baby, I love her.', then the trigger 'And also, Oprah– Oprah has retired– Is gonna retire her show.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So eventually the car’s going, “there’s your turn! No no, that’s not it. Maybe the next one. That could be it.', then the trigger 'That might be it.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Just a little bit. Just dangle the twins around. And put a finger in my heinie if you’re a friend.', then the trigger 'Two if you’re a pal.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Original Air Date on December 6, 2009 * * * [audience cheering, applauding] [rock music playing]', then the trigger 'Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, Please welcome Robin Williams!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So we need something to store it in and produce it. What was your idea, Carl?” “nuts.” “thank you, Carl.', then the trigger 'Initially we used walnuts.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You jump off the couch yelling, ‘fire in the hole!’ That might work.', then the trigger 'I don’t know.” And then… If that doesn’t work, there’s always pornography.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Thank you, D.C.! God bless you! The peeps in the top! May we have health care! God bless you!', then the trigger 'Have a good night!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'We make your toys. Oh, Timmy can’t take lead? How sad for him. And now Chinese families are adopting American lesbians.', then the trigger 'Payback is a bitch.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“zero, press it!” Beep! [Indian accent] “hello. Did you want to talk to a real person?” Yes! Oh, my God, yes!', then the trigger 'Where are you?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward '“big drug company.” got it! And I have an alternative healthcare plan. It’s called cash-for-clunkers- for-older-relat...', then the trigger 'You sell grandma for parts.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s like the French production of “Anne Frank”– “she’s upstairs!” And we have a German Pope now.', then the trigger 'How do you get a German Pope?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And the whole budget crisis, The whole manic recession, we’ve just come through this manic recession.', then the trigger 'Remember the banks saying, “we’re too big to fail”?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'We just thought it makes it less of an opening and more of a show, really.', then the trigger 'Kind of– we had some old lips lying around.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They’ll be like, ‘oy!'” And I was hoping, rather than a German Pope, they would do', then the trigger 'something cool like a Latin american Pope, man.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Those who have taken L.S.D, tell the others how', then the trigger 'hard that might be.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'An angiogram does not let you know what they’re going to do.', then the trigger 'An angiogram is where they go through your groin to your heart.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And where are they gonna send all those guys from Guantanamo?', then the trigger 'People in Texas are going, “we’ll take ’em.” Zzzp… No, you can’t– zzzp… No!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Bush library, which I think, wow! That’s kind of like the Colonel Sanders Culinary Academy.', then the trigger 'Just the concept alone boggles your mind.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You recycle, good for you, congratulations. But if you recycle, there is one group who is really pissed off.', then the trigger 'That group are the raccoons.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Definitely might work. Give each and every american over the age of 20 $1 million.', then the trigger 'Tax them at a flat tax rate of 10%.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And if the answer to “who’s your daddy?” is multiple choice, come with me, my friend.', then the trigger 'And who thought polygamy was a great idea?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And how knew that the way to man’s heart was through his groin?', then the trigger 'And the women– many women are going, “we’ve known that forever.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'She will open a can of whupass.', then the trigger 'She will go from “yes, we can” to “oh, no you didn’t.” And Obama got heckled in Congress.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'All of the sudden you’ll have guests over for dinner and the parrot will go “not the ass.” whoa-ho-ho!', then the trigger '[chuckles] he’s been watching porn again.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Pack the car! Food and water! Food and water!” Also, if you have a parrot, do not leave them in the bedroom.', then the trigger 'They hear everything.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But you ring the doorbell, the curtains open, the penis goes inside.', then the trigger 'And Tom worked out some choreography for the balls that’s kind of fun.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'No no no, wait wait wait! Wait, listen, this is crazy. The last Pope was Polish, right?', then the trigger 'Yeah, no, wait– this is a good one!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like Michael got to the other side and it’s like, Michael? [high voice] “yes?” We have some of your things here.', then the trigger '“really?” One african-american nose.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Please say it isn’t so! Oprah’s gonna retire her show. I hope she’s not bummed out about losing the Olympics.', then the trigger 'I hope that’s not it.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And it looked like my uncle Phil.', then the trigger 'Like, ‘hey, how are you?’ So we just went with a topiary thing, which was kind of fun.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Don’t use the paddles, just rub me here. There we go.', then the trigger 'And if this is the symbol for men, Is this the symbol for women?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s all right. ’cause you’ll be wearing the bluetooth and deaf people are going, “are you hearing?', then the trigger 'No, you’re just an asshole with a bluetooth.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Yeah!” They say that Bob Dillon is gonna be making a GPS I want that GPS “driving down the road.', then the trigger 'Up ahead there’s a light.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Now… China makes a lot of money off us.', then the trigger 'But we’re gonna get some money back soon because they’re gonna open a Disneyland in Shanghai.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'How are you, my friends? Grab some seats. – You were caught in– – [audience shouting] What?', then the trigger '– [woman shouts] – that’s your old boss?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is superiority.

The setup points the reader toward 'Is this yours? “yes.” We have four others here. Are these yours? “three of them are mine.', then the trigger 'One’s Latoya’s.” But you can’t blame Michael.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Instead of a mask he’s wearing a Samurai mask. [imitate Japanese] Instead of a glove, it’s a vagina.', then the trigger '“come to daddy!” The batter walks out.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Argh!” And your penis is going, “I’m still hard. We’re going in.', then the trigger 'Yeah!” And your heart’s going, “I’m opening up your asshole.” [blows raspberry] Argh!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Hi, I’m Robin Williams. I’ve just had a black bean burrito.', then the trigger 'That’s right, I’m gonna drive all the way from San Francisco to Washington, D.C.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I will do it right now.” And you have to look at the English Royal Family and', then the trigger 'realize all that money and no dental plan.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I am intextificated. This is insane.” And when you get out of the car take out the bluetooth, o, Seven of Nine.', then the trigger 'Come back, yes.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'What’s up, D.C.? [cheering, hooting] Wow, thank you. Please, I’ve had heart surgery.', then the trigger 'It’s nice to be in Washington, where the buck stops here.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And people go, “now, Robin, how do I know if I’m an alcoholic?” Well, as one,', then the trigger 'let me give you some warning signs.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ve already got one opinion down here! I don’t need a second one!’ Fine.', then the trigger 'So now we made it vertical and now it just farts.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You ring the doorbell, the curtains open. It’s kind of fun. Some guys can’t find it.', then the trigger 'Others don’t know when to stop ringing it.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And they say alcoholism is peer pressure.', then the trigger 'Peer pressure for an alcoholic is, “psst, come here.” And I believe alcoholics are God’s rodeo clowns.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And that man was Tony Blair. Tony Blair and “w” was like the United Nations production of “Rainman.” It was wonderful.', then the trigger 'There was sweetness.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'they’re lighting torches going– [choked] “we’re waiting.” Come on, you folks who just came from Capitol Hill. Come on...', then the trigger 'Where do you go?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Yours will smell. Not to worry.', then the trigger 'Not to worry.’ But we needed something kind of special– one last little thing that would really work.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ve got livers. How’s the liver? Come on down!', then the trigger 'and if you order now, you’ll get this lovely wallet made from a Hasidic foreskin.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Who buys organs from a Hasidic Rabbi Going, “I’m crazy Itzhak. Come on down. I’m verklempt with values. Come on down!', then the trigger 'I’ve got kidneys.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I just need some liquidity, you know what I’m saying? I just ran into some bad subprime, you know?', then the trigger 'We had some complex formulas.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '♪ ♪ one singular salvation ♪ ♪ every word on the street!', then the trigger '♪ ♪ da da da da da da!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Oh my God. I’ve got a fuel leak. How weird is that? I can’t kick your ass. I sound like a chipmunk.', then the trigger 'This is nuts.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I got really loaded. I got a tattoo in mandarin that says “happiness and laughter” right here.', then the trigger 'I think it says that.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'In one eighth mile take a right turn. There it was. You missed it, Magellan. Shall I reroute?', then the trigger 'I who has access to 12 satellites?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Look at all the clowns getting out of the trunk of my car. And I’ve found another alternative fuel.', then the trigger 'And I found it by accident.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Listen.” [clucking] “got it. Forget the coconuts. Let’s try something different! Bob, what was your idea to replace t...', then the trigger 'Who doesn’t like balls?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And we worked together on a Disney project years ago.', then the trigger 'And he was a very eloquent and elegant man, but Walter had another side.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.