Bill Burr

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m trying to dial down the douchebaggery in my relationship. I’m not turning out the pilot light, though.', then the trigger 'I’m keeping some fight in me.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Are you seriously shocked some redneck with a beard down to his dick sitting in a boat', then the trigger 'in the middle of a swamp shooting varmints?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I believe in the planes, okay? I just don’t believe in the pilots. ‘Cause you know what?', then the trigger 'I don’t think the airline does, either.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Perfect gun for home protection, .22 caliber. You’re laughing at that, sir? That’s not enough? I don’t know. I’m down...', then the trigger 'What do you think?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s who taught him his ABCs. “~ A, B, C, D, E… ~ Hey, get that savage off my property!', then the trigger 'Get out of here!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ll just be driving down the street, just be like… Aaaaah! Anybody else like that?', then the trigger 'You ever have to shout stuff out of your head?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Basically, I think you got, like, 25, 30 years to absorb as much as you can,', then the trigger 'and then that’s it, that’s all you know.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'There’s something about me, like, all my regret comes up when I’m in the shower.', then the trigger 'I don’t know what it is.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Keep it off of Instagram!” Yeah. Dude, you understand, the guy is 80 years old. Do the math.', then the trigger 'This dude was born in 1934.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'This guy kept living. Telling you, you can live too long. You can live too long, I’m telling you.', then the trigger 'You wear out your welcome.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s like 2:00 in the morning, you’re both half naked. She’s not wearing a bra, you got half a ball hanging out.', then the trigger '“And another thing!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And I got to tell you, that was a great thing that my dad did for me.', then the trigger 'Let me finish before you start blogging, okay?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Except I didn’t scream out like he did, and that’s simple.', then the trigger 'The simple reason was this dude, he was hugged too much as a child.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Now they build cars, but it used to be about animals, right? Now it’s all car stuff.', then the trigger '“Looking forward to getting that carburetor today.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like, you’re some guy who would never hit a woman, ya know. Would never hit a woman. You can’t hit women.', then the trigger 'You honestly cannot.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'There he is, there he is! What’s up, buddy? What’s going on?', then the trigger 'We were just talking about you, just doing, like, a little surprise thing.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s two out of five senses! What, are you gonna taste him as he comes around the bed?', then the trigger 'You’re still gonna be shooting over here.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like, I see the whole thing, see the whole thing. Wrapping that sock. Shh… Shh… Shh… Right?', then the trigger 'See the whole thing, so we’ll see.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Just miserable, horrible. That kind of heat, you understand the racism down here, ya know? I get it.', then the trigger 'How would you get along with anybody?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is meta-humor with incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You stay with your own! You stay with your own.” That’s true, though. Life can pass you by.', then the trigger 'You just keep living and living.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Let me handle this!” I won’t fix everything.', then the trigger 'And that’s not a homophobic thing either, that I wouldn’t send my hypothetical son to drama class.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like, your guy’s name is Ron?', then the trigger 'And he wasn’t alive thousands of years ago, so you can hide a lot of it in the mystery.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s the Vatican. They’re their own city. They got a wall around their own city.', then the trigger 'They’re brushing off cases of pedophilia like it’s nothing.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You can literally hear the metal the plane’s made of, like… All of a sudden, this dude', then the trigger 'three rows back starts making these bitchy noises.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m 100% in on this. And ever since I got into it, I’m seeing helicopters everywhere.', then the trigger 'I never realized how many helicopters there were.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ve kind of come her way, she’s come my way.', then the trigger 'She watches a little bit of sports, I occasionally will watch a romantic comedy.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And you know what? We become weaker as a species.', then the trigger 'Do you remember back in the day when you watched the Discovery Channel about animals?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But that didn’t change what he was trying to do. Where his heart was, I still love this guy.', then the trigger 'I just feel bad for him.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Do you know what I would love to do? I’d love to rescue some kid that works in a sweatshop.', then the trigger 'Wouldn’t that be amazing?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Come into the church, your brain’s all empty, they fill it like a jelly donut.', then the trigger '[making squishing sounds] Just brainwash you.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Dude, I shot a five-shot .38 one time without earplugs. I was landscaping this guy’s yard.', then the trigger 'He comes out at the end of the job.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'If I lost a tooth, there was a fairy. There was the Easter Bunny.', then the trigger 'Why wouldn’t there be some bearded baby moonwalking across the lake?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And you’re gonna turn around. All you’re gonna see is his cowardly feet going out the kitchen window.', then the trigger 'I don’t know, man, that’s risky.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And I was like, so you’re just dead. Like, how do you wrap your head around not existing?', then the trigger 'I couldn’t get my head around it.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'I know what happened. He was working at Denny’s, he got sick of it. “I’ll start a religion.', then the trigger 'Hey, everybody, there’s this spaceship coming back.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“That’s very offensive to me and other Christians', then the trigger 'and…” Become that douche?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m just gonna go out and do it, pass the goddamn class, and when I get', then the trigger 'my license, I’m not going to tell her.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'This guy was alive, like, 45, 50 years ago. He had a driver’s license, Social Security number.', then the trigger 'There’s like footage of him stubbing his toe.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You know, in reality, I’m being too hard on that guy. Yeah, I am.', then the trigger 'I am, ’cause I was just as scared as he was.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'He just came in like this, like George Foreman, and then he reached out, he had hands.', then the trigger 'All of a sudden, he had hands.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s like a cloud!” I’ll get him a bowl of Fritos, put on cricket or soccer, one of those sweatshop sports.', then the trigger 'I don’t know.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I got married. That’s the big thing. Yes, I did. Very happy about that.', then the trigger 'I’m very happy because it was starting to get weird.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I don’t even pretend to understand it.', then the trigger 'I remember the first time a woman wanted to get me to choke her a little bit.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'What’s the matter? What’s the matter? What’s the matter, boy? You hear something? What’s the matter? What are you bar...', then the trigger 'What’s the matter, huh?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I just kinda like, ya know. It’s like squeeze a little bit and kind of like squeeze it.', then the trigger 'Why don’t you want to do it?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They’re like so focused on hitting their wife, they got blinders on, they’re not reading anything?', then the trigger 'They don’t see the “Don’t Hit Your Wife” billboard?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Come on, let me outta here. I-I have a spin class. You’ve made your point. This is ridiculous.” No, that’s the thing.', then the trigger 'That’s the thing.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So she knows… It’s not her birthday, none of that crap. She can’t ask me for it.', then the trigger 'So now she’s gotta go into manipulation mode.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It said, “Why do so many rich, famous, and powerful men act like absolute pigs?” Right?', then the trigger 'And the article was actually written by a woman.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I don’t know. I’m sick of women trying… every girl I ever date’s always trying to fix me.', then the trigger 'Gets annoying after a while, you know?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'He’s like the exact opposite of me, you know? I planned out my life a little more, right?', then the trigger 'That’s why I never got married.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'White people totally missed the lotion seminar at some point in history.', then the trigger 'I don’t know if it’s ’cause we can’t see it, you know?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like I had lightning coming out of the bottom of my foot.', then the trigger 'So I did the typical guy thing: “I’m not going to the hospital.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'One time she was watching this show.', then the trigger 'It was like a poor excuse for The View, and they started talking about domestic violence, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ll sleep it off. I’ll be fine” right?', then the trigger 'Next morning, I wake up, my foot’s even worse and I gotta walk my crazy dog.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'She comes right back up again. slaps ’em off a little harder. This time, they spin halfway around my head.', then the trigger 'Caveman DNA starts coming up.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Saw this guy the other night on TV.', then the trigger 'He’s like, “Oh, god, I wish I did this ten years ago.” It’s like, no, you don’t!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I just have so much love for you… I try to cause you to have a seizure.” I don’t know.', then the trigger 'I’m good at this.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Trying to eat a pop-tart here” right? No, you just take him in the back. You play catch with him.', then the trigger 'You talk about life, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They don’t even notice you’re filling their heads up with your theories.', then the trigger 'You don’t do it the old-school way the way your parents used to.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Now it’s not about that… “Well, that’s no reason to call me a cunt!” And then that’s it.', then the trigger 'You’re in this room now, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'eesh!” “Now, he’s just crazy. He’s just a crazy person. What is wrong with him?” Eight hours later, he’d show up.', then the trigger 'She’d have dinner ready.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I just remained calm.', then the trigger 'I was just like, “Sweetheart… I think you need to go to work now.” She didn’t know what to do.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I feel like listening to my iPod on full blast walking around the house.', then the trigger 'That’s what I’m gonna do.” So that’s what I did.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They sift through the debris. “How did it start? Here’s an oily rag.” Right?', then the trigger 'Look, I realize I’m coming off pretty ignorant right about now.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m sure there’s gonna be a table” right? So she starts freaking out.', then the trigger 'In the back of my head, I’m like, “I got this sweater.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Thank you so much for coming out. I hope you had as good a time as I did.', then the trigger '[Inaudible speech] [Crowd chatter]' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'To be… If I’m really honest, the fight started, like, three months earlier. It’s, like, the middle of march.', then the trigger 'We’re just driving around, you know.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Are ya mad at the door?” Yeah. I had no idea I was amping this dog up.', then the trigger 'I’m so selfishly in my own world.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s one of the highlights of the relationship. So I knew what she was saying. I was like, “Whatever.', then the trigger 'I don’t wanna talk about it.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s like me writing a book, The third trimester and what to expect.', then the trigger 'Ladies, you’re gonna feel a pressure… how the hell would I know?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'Happened a couple years ago, right? Me and my girl had this big argument one day, right?', then the trigger 'Actually, you guys wanna hear a story?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“No, no, it looks great. Put a little ice on it, we’ll see you in a couple of weeks.', then the trigger 'All right, take it easy.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I like to be entertained. I love when they fall on the treadmill and go flying into the drywall.', then the trigger 'It’s like some modern-day medieval weapon!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'My dad was the exact opposite. Fell in love, got married, just started having kids.', then the trigger 'Had five kids by the time he was 33.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You’re a bitch, lady! You been a bitch for years. Give me the pliers.', then the trigger 'Yeah, most guys would’ve left by now!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'The argument is over. Just take a knee and run out the clock, all right? Lean on the ropes.', then the trigger 'Let ’em punch themselves out.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s just… it’s just ridiculous!” So see? There ya go, all right? You don’t need a face-lift, okay? Lay off the booze.', then the trigger 'Do some cardio.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s how you raise a kid. You play catch with ’em. And you just talk about life.', then the trigger 'You distract ’em by throwing the ball.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'For the 9 millionth time this year, they’re talking about domestic violence.', then the trigger 'Just in case, you know, you didn’t get the memo, you know?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Just slathering it on. I thought she had, like, a rash or something.', then the trigger 'I’m like, “What, do you got, like, poison Ivy?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Turned it all the way up, and I just… my whole plan was just to walk', then the trigger 'by her like I didn’t even know her.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ll suck your dick. I’ll suck your dick.” No, we have these huge battles.', then the trigger 'You know what the maddest she ever got at me was?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I was thinking about that.', then the trigger 'What am I gonna do if some dude turns me upside down, starts shaking the gold coins outta my pockets?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Almost went flying back into the bathtub.', then the trigger 'And I caught myself, and she’s all ready for me to take the bait and flip out.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They’re like, [effeminately] “There is no reason to hit a woman.', then the trigger 'There is no reason to hit a woman.” And I was just like, “Really?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like they have groupies as they waddle out to their Mercury Tracer parked on the other side of a dumpster.', then the trigger 'You’re beating them off?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s almost like you discovered a new age between 52 and 53.', then the trigger 'People, there’s nothing wrong with being 52 and looking 52, all right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s like pastry flakes flying off. She’s signing her name. She’s like, “You see that?” She goes, “That’s ashy.', then the trigger 'You’re ashy.” Freaked me out.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You got skin everywhere. Check yourself out. The bottom of your feet look like a prehistoric riverbed.', then the trigger 'That’s not part of the natural aging process.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And I show up, got the dog in the back. Trainer comes out.', then the trigger 'He’s got his hat on backwards, he’s got stubble, you know?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They try to take it. It’s in here. You do something good, you feel good.', then the trigger 'You do something bad, you feel bad, you know?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Can you do me a favor? Can you walk the dog for me? Can you just take the shift?', then the trigger 'I’ll do your afternoon shift.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You go to work every day, paying off the house.', then the trigger 'You come home one day, she’s banging the next-door neighbor, hands you divorce papers.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s where the people are. It’s called the beach. 90% of people are frolicking along the coastline.', then the trigger 'It’s not like there’s people swimming to Europe.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You’re gonna be fine. Don’t believe in these myths. Black don’t crack.', then the trigger 'They all put lotion on, like, every 20 minutes during the day.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I think it comes down to the way he talks, you know?', then the trigger '[Grunting gibberish with accent] That dude should be unloading trucks in Transylvania.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“So I was supposed to go out to lunch with Jennifer. I’m all ready to do that. I show up.', then the trigger 'She’s there with Susan.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I just wanted to roll her up in her yoga mat and stuff her behind the couch.', then the trigger 'Just leave her there till she got thirsty.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Stick out your arm.” So I stick out my arm, and ever so gently, she just drags her nails down.', then the trigger 'This smoke starts coming up.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ve got to get on with my life here.” So I was, like, going, “you know what? I’m not working Thanksgiving.', then the trigger 'I’m not working Christmas.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Park in the shade. Do whatever you’ve got to do.', then the trigger 'I’m coming home to a safe house, and then you drive home with the dog.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Oh, it’s brutal. Even if you do something smart, right, like it’s raining out. “He’s got an umbrella. What a fag.', then the trigger 'Oh, my God.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'No, it’s a natural thought. It’s a natural thought. But you don’t. You never lead with an uppercut.', then the trigger 'You set it up with the jab.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m just thinking of something I really agree with,” you know.', then the trigger 'I’m trying to let go of this ball of hate in my chest.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like, whenever I know the next four hours of my life is gonna suck, I think about it.', then the trigger '“God, I’ve got to pay my taxes.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You got a pit bull?” she goes, “it’s not a pit bull. It’s a mix.” Mixed with what, another pit bull?', then the trigger 'Look at that thing.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They can’t even breathe. You’ve got to have them sleeping upright in this lazy-boy rubbing Vicks vaporub on their chest.', then the trigger 'They’ve got, like, sleep apnea.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'My neighbor coming over, you know. “Hey, Bill, how’s it going?” “Oh, you know, pretty good, pretty good.', then the trigger 'Yeah, Susie keeps getting bigger, you know.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s awful, you know. You don’t do that, right? But what do you do now? What are you gonna do now, right?', then the trigger 'You’re married, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'She was like, “we should rescue a dog.', then the trigger 'Do you want to rescue a dog?” I’m like, “no, no, I don’t.” She’s like, “why not?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Am I gonna make it? Avenge meee!!!” Listen, I’m out of time. You guys were awesome.', then the trigger 'Thank you so, so much for coming out.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'The second she saw them, she was just like, “oh, my God, a pumpkin. Halloween’s coming up.', then the trigger 'We should get a pumpkin.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'God damn it, you gave this guy a bill, he paid it.', then the trigger 'This guy was a bill-paying son of a bitch, ironed his shirts.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I thought I was fine. She’s like, “no, I’m gonna make a turkey. I’m gonna make stuffing.', then the trigger 'What are you gonna do?” So I panicked.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You never hit a woman. You should never hit a woman. You’re gonna get caught. You’re gonna go to jail.', then the trigger 'You’re gonna get raped.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They die nine times every night. Why don’t I just rescue a retired offensive lineman while I’m at it?', then the trigger '“Yeah, this is Jim Jeffcoat.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'She’s like, “oh, my God. Thanksgiving’s coming up.” I’m sitting there trying to watch the game.', then the trigger 'What are you gonna do for Thanksgiving,” right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So anyway, so I decided not to go home for the holidays. That’s what I’m really trying to tell you here.', then the trigger 'No, I did.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Then on Wednesday, I don’t know what happened. I started to like it a little bit, you know?', then the trigger 'No, I was watching TV, you know.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I got a dog when i was on the road.', then the trigger 'I was on the road, and I just had a message on my machine.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s all I really care about you and your little garden hose.', then the trigger 'Little Things Now, I know I just sort of mentioned killing myself there.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like, “oh, I’ll just do the corners,” and, “ahhhh.” Then she just kind of straight-razor shaved. Just an absolute ani...', then the trigger 'I saw this other dude.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s literally from five decades of just suppressing the urge to, like, hug a puppy, admit', then the trigger 'a baby’s cute, say you want a cookie.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I really am. You should see some of the animals—some of the animals I see.', then the trigger 'Like, I was in the airport the other day, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'From day one, they can’t even breathe. They come out into the world.', then the trigger 'It’s like they’ve been working with asbestos their entire life, you know?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'She came up to me at the end of the show, and she’s like, “you’re not really', then the trigger 'thinking about doing something like that, are you?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I wouldn’t have to make the pie.” So it’s not even like I’m suicidal. It’s more like I’m, like, lazy.', then the trigger 'You know what I mean?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I love having the whole side of the street to myself. I feel like a king. Oh, it’s awesome.', then the trigger 'It’s the greatest thing ever.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like you never saw that before.', then the trigger 'Oh, by all means, slow down and look at it.” Being a Mother So… I’ve got a girlfriend, man.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I don’t say, “I rescued a dog.” I hate when people say that stuff. They say, “she’s a rescue.', then the trigger 'I rescued her.” Really?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Give me a break. Jesus Christ, you’re 35 years old playing hide-and-go-seek. You’re living the dream. You’re living t...', then the trigger 'No time card, no taxes.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You’re just standing up. You’re like, “Ahh, my feet.” You go to lean on something.', then the trigger '“Ahh, my arm.” Even, like, blinking, like, air hurts.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Is it going down?” Look on their face. I don’t know how you do it.', then the trigger 'How do you wake up every morning brushing your teeth?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I don’t know. Oh, it’s all true, right? So I go down to the driveway, and I see the dog.', then the trigger 'It’s a beautiful dog.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'No, that’s what it is.', then the trigger 'So there’s just this tornado of, like, misinformation.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Stava imparando come mettere insieme i pensieri. Come arringare le folle.', then the trigger 'Qualcuno avrebbe dovuto arrivare… Gettare alcune caramelle per terra in modo da farlo cadere.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'E in un primo momento lei mi colpì in questa zona. Il che è accettabile, giusto?', then the trigger 'È una vacanza, non roviniamola, cazzo!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Ma questo non significa che io odio i piedi e non li voglio nel mio quartiere.', then the trigger 'Significa solo che non mi piacciono quelle cose.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Anche quelli mi sembrano ridicoli.', then the trigger 'Deve sempre esserci una sorta di lezione in quei film… “Non c’avevo mai pensato prima!” Perché non succede mai!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Senza alcun motivo… Di veder persone che mangiano su un tavolino all’aperto divertendosi… e di aver', then the trigger 'voglia di buttar via tutto il loro cibo?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Appena ho visto quella scena, una parte del mio cervello ha pensato: “Cosa accadrebbe se arrivassi', then the trigger 'e chiedessi: ‘Signora, sono questi i suoi muffins?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Stai dicendo che non possiamo essere scienziati”. Non è vero.', then the trigger 'Sto solo dicendo che se ci fosse una gara verso il microscopio, voi stronzi vincereste.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Se su un autobus ci sono 30 persone normali, un pazzo può prendere in ostaggio l’intero bus.', then the trigger 'Sei seduto lì… Tutto va alla grande.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Dovreste picchiarvi l’una con l’altra, una volta ogni tanto. Così, dal nulla, tirare un pugno in faccia ad una vostra...', then the trigger 'Vi farà bene.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Sei seduto davanti alla TV, urlando: “Come possono perdonare tutti questi amministratori? “Oh, il nuovo McRib!', then the trigger 'Lo voglio provare cazzo!” E ti abbuffi… Comunque, sì.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Ogni uomo ha una linea, e se supera quella linea gli arriva un cazzotto in faccia.', then the trigger 'Ma per le donne la linea non esiste.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Ma, in quanto psicopatico funzionale, non solo non lo fai ma analizzi quel pensiero: se lascio', then the trigger 'la mia mano qui, nessuno sa chi sono.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Avete mai conosciuto qualcuno, che appena dopo avervi incontrato, pensa', then the trigger 'di sapere tutto di voi?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Io cerco di dribblare gli avversari”. Stanno pensando: “È un supereroe!', then the trigger '“Dovrebbe avere un mantello svolazzante nel vento, con una grande S sul petto…”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“A partire da domani, se avete una pistola, sparategli in faccia, cazzo!', then the trigger '“Fate quello che dovete fare, quel tizio è fuori controllo!” No, è fantastico.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Leggiamo il retro della confezione per un po’. È ancora lì? Non voglio guardare. Ho guardato l’ultima volta.', then the trigger '“È il tuo turno di guardare.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Si stanno inventando tutto? Non voglio fare il coglione nemmeno in merito a questo argomento, ok?', then the trigger 'Giusto per chiarire.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Devo mettere la testa a posto. Sono davvero ad un punto critico della mia vita. È vero, dico sul serio.', then the trigger 'Sono uno psicopatico, cazzo.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Sono orgogliosissimi: “Abbiamo cinque figli, che a loro volta hanno cinque figli a testa”.', then the trigger '“Già, e nessuno di voi ha fatto un cazzo nella vita!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Poi gli esplode un ginocchio. Gli altri otto tizi neri volano fino al traguardo… Dov’è quel tizio alle prossime olimp...', then the trigger 'È nella cabina di commento.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Ci son ramoscelli e maccheroni. È una schifezza. È un tavolo di schifezze.', then the trigger 'Ma a lei piace: “Oh mio Dio, questi oggetti sono così eccentrici!”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Lo so, fa male.', then the trigger 'Non puoi sentire il naso, le tue orecchie fischiano, ma vi sgombrerà la mente, così sarete costrette a valutare voi s...' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Non sarebbe fantastico? Tre persone nascono ogni secondo, mentre una sola persona muore.', then the trigger 'Quindi se non sta nascendo nessuno qualcuno è appena morto, giusto?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Avete visto le olimpiadi? Io amo i 100 metri piani.', then the trigger 'Ci son sempre nove tizi neri, ed un pesce fuor d’acqua bianco in corsia otto.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Lasciate che vi chieda una cosa. Quanti di quei film del genere “I bianchi sono malvagi” hanno intenzione di fare?', then the trigger 'Siamo arrivati fino al nuoto.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Distribuisci un po’ di biglietti omaggio e si presentano tutti. “Questo tizio spacca!', then the trigger 'Mi piace!” È bello essere di nuovo qui a New York.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Doveva percorrere interi stati, con dei cani che lo inseguivano, saltando ostacoli, nuotando… Quelli erano i primi tr...', then the trigger 'Non c’era nessuno ad aiutarli.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Te lo dico io come va!', then the trigger '“Questi dannati messicani continuano a venire in questo paese per rubarci i lavori!” Immediatamente, tutti i clienti:...' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Se ci fossero 30.000 persone al mondo, tutti potrebbero guidare il proprio carro armato.', then the trigger 'Potresti guidare un carro armato, gettando rifiuti tossici dalla torretta.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Cambia canale!” Poi negli anni ’80 c’è stato quel film sul football, poi quello in cui', then the trigger 'Cuba Gooding voleva fare il sommozzatore, vi ricordate?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Quello è Mike. Già, salva i ghetti. Eh, è quello che fa.', then the trigger '“Io rimango spaparanzato a guardare ‘SportsCenter’ mentre lui è nei ghetti ogni weekend”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Dico sul serio. Ho provato un completo, l’altro giorno, e l’ho sentita salire: “Fanculo, voglio conquistare qualcosa!', then the trigger '“Voglio iniziare a dire alla gente cosa fare.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Non riesco più nemmeno a guardare la N.B.A.', then the trigger 'In ogni highlight, il bianco è messo così mentre il nero gli agita i coglioni in faccia.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I pedofili, tendenzialmente, sono scheletrici, dovrebbero strozzarli con l’avambraccio e trascinarli… È solo una teor...', then the trigger '“Lo pensa davvero?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'E subito tutti: “Che cosa, che cosa?” Tutti impazzirono, come se non avessero idea di ciò che quel tizio stava dicendo.', then the trigger 'Guardate ‘Sport Center’?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Sta dicendo delle cose sensate!” Lo segue fino al parcheggio. Saltano nella sua El Camino. Ora sono in due!', then the trigger 'Io credo alla teoria della cospirazione.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Nessuno di noi sa di che cazzo sta parlando, “per cui evitiamo di asportare parti dell’animale!” Naturalmente,', then the trigger 'in quanto femmina, doveva dimostrare che avessi torto.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Mi piace ancora lo sport! “Eccola che arriva.', then the trigger 'Ehi, tesoro, come stai?” Sto cercando di imparare a scegliere le mie battaglie con la mia ragazza.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Va bene, ascoltate, ho esaurito il tempo a mia disposizione, siete stati divertentissimi. Vi ringrazio per essere ven...', then the trigger 'Lo apprezzo veramente.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Sto dicendo che sei veloce. Questa è una cosa positiva, giusto?', then the trigger 'La gente si arrabbia: “Parli come se fosse tutto ciò che possiamo fare.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Avete mai pensieri strani come quello? Pensieri violenti e casuali… Volevo dare una gomitata in faccia ad una vecchie...', then the trigger 'È stato incredibile.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Sto dicendo che siete veloci.', then the trigger 'Il vostro camice svolazzerebbe nel vento… Io arriverei tre minuti più tardi, con crampi ovunque… “Cosa stai guardando...' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Sono l’unico che pensa queste cose? Mi piacciono le cose assurde. Mi piace quando succedono cose pazze, tipo negli sp...', then the trigger 'Amo guardare lo sport.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Ti da fastidio?” I bianchi sono gli unici a dire: “Perché voi non mangiate le mucche? “Branco di froci!', then the trigger '“E perché indossi dei sandali?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Tutti parlano di pedofili e quel tipo di cose. Forse ce ne sono di più al giorno d’oggi.', then the trigger 'Forse è più facile, grazie ad internet.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Devo star fermo qui “mentre tu rompi tutte le mie cose”. Dev’essere colpa mia. Litigo troppo spesso.', then the trigger 'Ho litigato con una ragazza l’altro giorno.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Ha preso un libro… “Ok. Lo dice proprio qui: “se fai sterilizzare il tuo cane, ha meno probabilità di essere aggressivo.', then the trigger 'Sei proprio uno stronzo.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Possono continuare a starti addosso… Possono fare cose meritevoli di un suplex e rimanere sul luogo del delitto.', then the trigger 'Non hanno nemmeno la decenza di scappare.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Realisticamente, abbiamo bisogno di ridurre quel numero di circa 300 unità, va bene?', then the trigger '“A partire domani, se avete una pistola, sparate loro in faccia, cazzo!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Lo tiri fuori e stendi il tizio. Tutti gli saltano addosso e poi lo legano.', then the trigger 'Poi gli tatuate “forse il prossimo Hitler” sulla fronte.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I really hope all of you run into all those black people that you love so much here in Camden.', then the trigger 'I really hope that happens.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.