Ralphie May

The setup points the reader toward 'Yes, that is what I’m saying. Okay, that’s my hypothesis.', then the trigger 'Yours would be that there was a bunch of white people faster than black people.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'This is one of the best drinking cities in the country. Unfortunately, I can’t drink anymore.', then the trigger 'I actually found out that I’m allergic to alcohol.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And then there’s investment bankers and then NASCAR drivers.', then the trigger 'Yeah, it’s people living in an English Tudor next to people who need an English tutor.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '* * * Come on! What did I tell you, baby? Did I tell you?', then the trigger 'Her last Brazilian wax is where I got my jacket.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Who wants to give healthcare to people? It’s like they’re all Yosemite Sam, you know? They’re turning into Yosemite Sam.', then the trigger 'I hate that Barack Obama.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ll tell you something. Like, the place that does it calls itself a spa?', then the trigger 'Like, you’re supposed to come in, relax, it’s a spa.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '– I don’t like to hit my kids, you know, I was hit and that’s not', then the trigger 'right, I don’t like to hit my kids.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Every time I drink, my throat closes up around a penis, so. (ringing bell) I’m not married.', then the trigger 'I’m afraid of getting married, that’s the truth.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That was the genocide of a species. He ordered a jacket, but they ran out of stuff. I like Portland.', then the trigger 'I like your motto.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Do you like parades? Hey, enjoy the rest of the show, thanks for coming out, everybody! Ladies and gentlemen.', then the trigger 'What do you bring up last?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And I’m eating some good-ass leftover peach cobbler, okay? Out of a Cool Whip bowl stained with chili or spaghetti sa...', then the trigger 'Yeah, baby, yeah.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for my friend and soon to be yours, Mr. How are you?', then the trigger 'Hello, Portland, Oregon, how are you?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'All 26 of us? Is our vote really jacking up your politics? I’ll call them off, I’ll call them off.', then the trigger 'I’m on the phone list.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'He popped a boner and lost his duct tape and so half his cock came out.', then the trigger 'Had to re-duct tape his dick back down.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Don’t believe that. That’s from years of good fingerblasting. Bitches got strong hands.', then the trigger 'You also need to know, I’ve been mean my whole life, okay?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s what they did, they got ’em by their jug handle.', then the trigger 'You can’t go nowhere when you got somebody in your earlobe like that.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Tight, tight ‘giner.', then the trigger 'If you can get it, get it, that’s why they’re so God damn mysterious, tight ‘giners in this day and age.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is meta-humor with incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m like, yeah, wanted a football player, got a cheerleader, huh, man? That’s how it goes. That’s how it goes, man.', then the trigger 'You roll the dice.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ll say hello to the other poor people in that balcony. All right, well, try to afford better seats.', then the trigger 'I like fishing and joke-telling.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'I wanna take his dick and hit the button with his dick. (imitating explosion) Yeah, that was my dick, son.', then the trigger 'Be bombing you later.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'She just started yelling at me. She’s like, get up on the table, spread your legs! I was like, Jesus Christ.', then the trigger 'Like, I’m terrified.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ve been at this school for ten God damn years and you’re just now getting around to', then the trigger 'finding out if I’m a retard or not?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Love you boys. Hey, we are the Filthy Animals we love you the most. Thank you so much for coming out tonight!', then the trigger '(cheering and applause)' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like, there is nothing more vulnerable than being in a tiny room with an angry Asian', then the trigger 'woman and no pants on or rape whistle.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I mean, it was in the rules under Milton Bradley. If you did a reverse card, you got a bump.', then the trigger '– I swear to God.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '– We’re the Smash Brothers! – Thank you! – Thank you! * * * The Smash Brothers, ladies and gentlemen.', then the trigger 'Well, what do you think?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Why is it stopping in Kansas? I don’t know if you’re– I didn’t know this.', then the trigger 'Evidently, Wichita, Kansas is where dumb goes to breed.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You’re giving your eight-year-old a cell phone, so if you do hit ’em, now they can', then the trigger 'call the cops on your dumb ass.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Okay, party people. All right, party people? Are you ready to do this, party people? I can’t hear you, party people!', then the trigger 'One, two, three!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Now– Come on, what– What, come on? Which is more believable, your theory or mine?', then the trigger 'Mine make a hell of a lot more sense.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'So that’s when they get into fights with each other.', then the trigger 'This last Saturday was possibly the best meathead fight I’ve ever heard in my life.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That was all that was in that. He drank three of ’em in eight minutes in front of me.', then the trigger 'Almost a whole bottle of Belvedere.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Sorry, girls, none of this sweet dick for you, baby. No sweet dick for you.', then the trigger 'Okay, just the tip, but that’s just a little bit.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ve been mean my whole life. I’m not my mama’s favorite child.', then the trigger 'I wasn’t liked in school by the teachers, they hated my guts.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'The Washington state patrolman that arrested me, a standup comedian, moved his hand to reveal his last name was Bacon.', then the trigger 'That’s destiny, you guys.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '‘Cause I mean– If you start off with a dick on your head, I mean, what’s further', then the trigger 'down the line, you know what I mean?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I want to tell you about this next comic coming up. He’s gonna rock the mic for you.', then the trigger 'I’ve known him literally for 15 years.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Where’s my shoes?', then the trigger 'Then the knife guy goes to the security guy at the end of the day, he’s like, give me those knives back.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I love you like a brother and you’re calling me a liar?” And to the window I go.', then the trigger '‘Cause that is a meathead audio goal.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'For me, it’s my Aunt Sandra.', then the trigger 'My Aunt Sandra been lesbian since jump, okay?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It goes on in almost any city in the world, right near where they got nightclubs, right, ladies?', then the trigger 'We all know what nightclubs are, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.