Nick Offerman

The setup points the reader toward 'Say “please” and “thank you.” Get the door for each other.', then the trigger 'If somebody needs help with their groceries, jump up and give ’em a hand.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I gotta do this. I gotta pay attention. What’s going on in Tucson? Kind of boring.', then the trigger 'Oh, that’s kind of fun… Eh, next.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But we do not. Every time Emilio calls me, I demure, “Not tonight, bro. You guys have fun.” We stay home.', then the trigger 'That’s a key.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'One of my best friends is a CPA, and his thing is that he… Yeah, right on.', then the trigger 'He loves to make all the numbers right.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Do you think the cool new pope is Galactus? Galactus eats planets. The pope… The pope does not eat pussy, Mr.', then the trigger '– He’s pretty cool.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Biggest misconception in the world.', then the trigger 'No, you can change all the lyrics you want, but that tune of notes belongs to the Cash estate.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Okay, here’s the deal. Jesus, Take the Wheel was actually not written by Carrie Underwood.', then the trigger 'So you can’t actually stop me from playing this song.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Jam parts of you into me so deeply that I, too, am forced to defecate? I… I will comply with this order.', then the trigger 'I get it.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is meta-humor with incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'On the plus side, it shares a root with the word “hobbit,” which could not be', then the trigger 'a more charismatic sequence of consonants and vowels.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome America’s humorist: Mr. Thank you so much. Good Christ, people. Minor nudity was...', then the trigger 'Drink it in.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I say to the rest of my friends that don’t have insane blue eyes, “Go to your printer. There’s paper in there.', then the trigger 'Find the paper.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'There’s no way this is not gonna be', then the trigger 'my first hit single.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And you get stressed out that you don’t look like people on magazines. You get upset.', then the trigger 'It’s so sad when you see your friends.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Then we would go and 69 in the woods for three hours.', then the trigger 'And we were just discovering the joys of mawing each other’s crotches.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Their genitals are more velvety and bluish, but if there was a sheet here with a light', then the trigger 'behind it, you could not tell the difference.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They’ve written these guidelines. They’ve been disseminated among the people.', then the trigger 'And they’re just hanging out waiting for people to start showing up and being holy.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'All of these nine tips add up to form number ten: paddle your own canoe.', then the trigger 'Thank you very much for having me.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s a great deal. I love working hard. I love it, spending a day in my shop, using my muscles, getting filthy.', then the trigger 'It’s so fun.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And I thought I would pass them along to you in a show that I’ve entitled American', then the trigger 'Ham: My 10 Tips for a Prosperous Life.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And these writers… “Hang on. Just give me one second, please. Two turtles to the temple, and she may be exonerated.', then the trigger 'Two what, now?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I really think Johnny Cash would enjoy my song wholeheartedly.', then the trigger 'It’s about getting off the computer and going outside and respecting life and tasting… Please.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You see this, but you also see what you’ve been taught to compare it to.', then the trigger 'So I see my face, and I see Keira Knightley.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m interminably in their debt.', then the trigger 'And they’re followed closely by the ridiculous stack of curves and comedy juggernaut that is my legal property, Megan...' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'If you have leaves in your hair, that should be addressed. Draw a line. Avoid the mirror.', then the trigger 'Number eight: Maintain a relationship with Jesus Christ.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'There’s all these things I can do, and then there are things much more talented people', then the trigger 'can do that are way better than that.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And the first time you do that correctly, you’re hooked, you’re bewitched.', then the trigger 'And everything in a wood shop is just some version of that chisel.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'We’re all brothers and sisters on this planet.', then the trigger 'We’re all sharing this space, and we deserve the respect to treat one another with good manners.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'No matter what, the citizens of Middle-earth seemed to remain in pretty good spirits as long as', then the trigger 'they were packing Longbottom Leaf into their pipes.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Poke it into your hand to make a nifty pouch for collecting pussy willows and acorns', then the trigger 'and bear’s teeth down by the fightin’ ring.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I get a little… It’s a little backhand. I’ve got this cleft in my palm. You feel that?” Mr.', then the trigger 'Severson liked it as well.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Take a sheet of it. Fold it in half. Draw a heart on it. Open it up.', then the trigger 'Write ‘I love you.’ Sign your name.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And so this is actually the first song I wrote.', then the trigger 'I wrote it for my wife on her 50th birthday… The Rainbow Song.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And we’ve all been programmed for decades with this barrage of messaging, so that when you look', then the trigger 'in the mirror, you don’t just see this.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'We make our marriage a priority. If you want a healthy marriage… It’s like raising a shrub.', then the trigger 'You have to make it a priority.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s never gonna match up.', then the trigger 'And if it does, it’s gonna be gross.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It doesn’t… It sounds… incongruous… It sounds incongruous, but I’m telling you, I’ve been back and', then the trigger 'forth with this thing six ways to Sunday.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You, my friend, are living.” We are all brothers and sisters. I don’t care if you’re a librarian.', then the trigger 'I don’t care if you’re a litterbug.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I knew even in school, you know. “Oh, you guys kissing in the hallway?” Yes.', then the trigger 'That’s because I can’t get a blowjob in the hallway.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'If you just use intoxicants… and I’ve crunched the numbers on this one, too… you get depressed.', then the trigger 'It’s so great to strike a balance.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'The left portion is the pork ribs. The brisket’s sitting on top.', then the trigger 'Hush puppies, mac ‘n’ cheese, beans, – ridiculous jalapeño corn bread muffins.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.