Mitch Hedberg

The setup points the reader toward 'I gotta do a half-hour. You get a like me more than that.', then the trigger 'I can’t be getting through a half-hour with that kind of action.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That was even more of a buzz kill. My friend Duane was standing there raising his right hand.', then the trigger 'Swearing to help prevent forest fires.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'He gets concerned. He says “Mitch. Don’t use liquor as a crutch.” I can’t use liquor as a crutch.', then the trigger 'Because a crutch HELPS me walk.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It is not a good base. I like Swiss cheese unless I’m with four or more people.', then the trigger 'I think Visine was only invented for potheads.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They say “hey, you got a lot of nerve.” I say “hey, you got a lot', then the trigger 'of cranium accessories.” This is a smart crowd.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s really not emergency brake. It’s an emergency “make the car smell funny” lever.', then the trigger 'You know you can’t please all the people all the time.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Some skeptical friend. Don’t even act like I didn’t get that donut. I got the documentation right here.', then the trigger 'It’s back home in the file.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And I certainly want my special to be funny. You know what I mean.', then the trigger 'I come out here like all – Rock ‘n roll.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Just start spelling it. Then quit.” Like we had a refrigerator with a hard-boiled egg inside.', then the trigger 'After a few days, the shell started to crack.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'As we were walking out of the pawn shop. We became a death metal barbershop quartet.', then the trigger 'You know you go to concerts like punk rock.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'Now if a frog is hopping toward you, do not look the amphibian in the eye. This will incite him.', then the trigger 'I wear V-neck shirts.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m at the end of my special, man. My special, baby. You don’t know. I don’t know. It’s my special.', then the trigger 'See how happy I am.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'As to what to put on top of the Ritz. Try it with turkey and cheese. Try it with peanut butter.', then the trigger 'Oh, come on, man.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'This is a V-neck I got on. The neck is so fragile, man. I can’t wear a regular neck shirt.', then the trigger 'And I especially hate turtlenecks.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'As though something is going on over there. The camera is right in front of you.', then the trigger 'But I guess something happened to the left.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They said “all right. You’re a cook.” “Can you farm?” I planted a carrot once.', then the trigger 'When you do comedy, you have to start strong.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m gonna do it from a sitting position. You have me sitting on the stand. It got personal, you know.', then the trigger 'People flipping around the channels.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'This week’s coupon. Unlimited free pizza. Coupon not good at any of the Mitch’s Pizza locations.', then the trigger 'Free pizza offered with purchase… of a small Coke.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Whenever I walk, people try to hand me out flyers.', then the trigger 'And when somebody hands me a flyer, it’s kind of like they’re saying… “Here.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'The show’s going alright, I guess. I’m trying to feel it out. I wanted to buy a candle holder.', then the trigger 'But the store didn’t have one.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I like cinnamon rolls. That’s why I wish they made like a cinnamon roll incense.', then the trigger 'Because I don’t always have time to make a pan.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'This will be fun. I used to live here in Los Angeles on Sierra Bonita. And I had an apartment.', then the trigger 'And I had a neighbor.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Eddie’s first comment was “man, this guy is a survivor!” Like if you’re walking on a street with Eddie.', then the trigger 'And a car pulls up.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But on the day the rubber was supposed to show up, a big truck load of potatoes arrived.', then the trigger 'And Pringles is a laid-back company.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I know it. I’m gonna get yelled at. I love you guys.', then the trigger 'Thanks for coming to my special.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Because I’m taping a special. You know how you go to a restaurant on the weekends, they get busy.', then the trigger 'So they start a waiting list.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So we all know what D is. I’m just trying to be pleasant on TV. My ma is watching.', then the trigger 'I like baked potatoes, man.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I want to be a race-car passenger. Just a guy who bugs the driver. Can I turn on the radio?', then the trigger 'You should slow down.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Liquor severely screws up the way I walk. It ain’t like a crutch. It’s like a step I didn’t see.', then the trigger 'But alcoholism is a disease.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But not comedy. That’s not fair. It’s as though if I was a cook.', then the trigger 'And I worked my ass off to become a good cook.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That turkey was in an accident. If I had nine of my fingers missing, I wouldn’t type any slower.', then the trigger 'I type 101 words per minute.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Who else would buy Visine? Say, man, I need Visine. I don’t want people to know that I have been swimming.', then the trigger 'I’m a heroin addict.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'This thing is useful. I’m gonna go pick something up. I think you like me more now than earlier.', then the trigger 'So I’m gonna redo my special.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I don’t have a microwave oven. It takes forever to bake a potato in a conventional oven.', then the trigger 'Sometimes I’ll just throw one in there.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I love casinos. I like to gamble, you know.', then the trigger 'Like whenever they advertise a casino, like a billboard, they show like a guy winning money.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.