Kathleen Madigan

The setup points the reader toward 'The tone and the pitch… When she spoke, all I heard was a yorkie barking. I swear to god.', then the trigger 'Like, that’s all I heard.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“You drive to the next light, “and you cautiously make a u-turn, Kathleen.', then the trigger 'That’s what you do.” They are starting to do crazy things.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'As an Irish catholic, that sentence couldn’t even go in my head. Error, error, error.', then the trigger 'So I said to my brother, “think about it, Pat.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Yes, you are!” “I would never not have a happy day if I owned that cat.”', then the trigger 'He’s like, “Kathleen, I’m at work.” “Yeah, whatever.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Doesn’t allow their drivers to do it, “and they save millions of dollars. “Your father and I are retired.', then the trigger 'We have that kind of time.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Just because you did a good job doesn’t mean you should lose gold ranking. Because there’s lovely parts of Detroit.', then the trigger 'Here, this whole area.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“My god, where’s Korea? He’s gonna know we don’t know.', then the trigger 'My god, I’m petrified of this person.” Yeah, now there’s a million news channels.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m not afraid of normal things.', then the trigger 'It amazes me when… My friend is a DVD distributor, and he’s like, “you know what people love?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I hit a lake. When did they put a lake on highway 40? There was no lake there, seriously.', then the trigger 'You got to bring 10 grand.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh, bleh. Bring… cut your ego down a level. There’s nothing wrong with Air Force Two.', then the trigger 'Same plane, different number.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I love monkey, and I love punch.” Seven monkey rum punches later, you hear, “and now', then the trigger 'we will be doing the safety drill.” What?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That makes me sad, ’cause then there’s always that big argument. Should the government pay for programs like that or...', then the trigger 'I don’t know.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Did you see what that little son of a bitch just did?” “Vicky, Vicky, you are 70. He is four.', then the trigger '“Get a handle on yourself.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I was like, what? “It’s not always lefts.', then the trigger '“It’s anything into oncoming traffic “where you have to cross lanes to get to your lanes.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I just don’t see that happening. Call me a pessimist.', then the trigger 'I just don’t see that lady whipping that burka off and going, “that’s it, Mohammed.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Yeah, the whole building, and nobody panicked or acted weird.', then the trigger 'They’re like, “see you, bye!” “Hey, want to try a monkey-ass rum punch?” “Yes.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I didn’t vote for Mitt Romney. It had nothing to do with politics.', then the trigger 'I didn’t vote for Mitt Romney.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I love ‘sunshine.'” And then, bam, they blast you to red rocks. There it is, Colorado, red rocks, 1978.', then the trigger 'There’s John Denver singing it.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '‘Cause you’re not somebody I met at a party.” “You’re my mom. “You were a nurse for 30 years.', then the trigger '“I bought the whole story.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'There’s no alcohol at all.', then the trigger 'And it’s not like, ha, ha, sneaky, sneaky.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You can follow me. Yeah, there’s all kinds of… It’s like a mobile baby Jesus.', then the trigger 'People just sign up, follow me all through town.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Maybe I’ve had two or four glasses of wine, and maybe it’s late, and maybe I’m in', then the trigger 'a sentimental mood, and that’s what PBS does.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Just driving down the road. You don’t know. Things could get weird, but this year, no, no, no, no. Number one, Flint.', then the trigger 'I’m like, “how?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Now I don’t even care what kind of pill I ate.', then the trigger 'Now I just want to understand why she doesn’t make left turns anymore.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They’re just cute. They’re accent shoes. I’m not gonna trust my life…” It’s horrible.', then the trigger 'I didn’t shower for, like, I don’t know, 13, 14 days.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“The world is not a black-and-white place.', then the trigger '“The world has gray areas.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'My god, no, no. That’s why I like Twitter. It’s 140 characters, and then they kick you off.', then the trigger 'You don’t have to approve people.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So… I don’t want to talk to him, though. I don’t want to talk to anybody.', then the trigger 'I just… I’m tired, I’m crabby, I’m filthy.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I think you’re sleeping with a goat.” That’s how weird it is to me. That’s not fair to Mitt Romney.', then the trigger 'I don’t smoke pot.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'These people in the middle of the night went, “holy crap, they’re crazy,” and ran home like girls and left everything.', then the trigger 'They left tanks.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like, that’s brilliant. Like, “well, hey, the bank said no.', then the trigger 'Why don’t we go down to the candy factory and see if they’ll…?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I don’t get calls from my pothead friends at 3:00 in the morning, “can you come get me? I’m in jail.', then the trigger 'I’m so dead.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'Welcome to the gym. Fill out this form. Ruff-ruff-arrr-arrr, rrrr!” It’s like, “really? I got to speak to this lady?', then the trigger 'Like, I have money.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I think, wherever you think. Wherever, you know, we can make it rain. We have all night left.', then the trigger 'And I’ve never said that.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I have glasses on, no makeup.', then the trigger 'My hair is in a baseball hat that they’ve given me that says “uso.” It’s a free, just, hat.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Well, something’s gonna happen. It’s got to turn around. I mean, I don’t know when, but I’m certainly not leaving yet.', then the trigger 'I have hope.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You’re done.” “Well, I had a bagel this morning. I thought about having a doughnut, but Dr.', then the trigger 'Oz says they’re really the same thing.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I don’t have good habits. I have changed my diet none whatsoever since I was a kid.', then the trigger 'I still drink whole milk every day.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It was… I don’t know what direction it was. It was left to me.', then the trigger 'In my world, that’s a hard left from my bunk, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'The drinks were overpriced.” “I think you need to take that alcoholic test online.” “Don’t you dare. “Don’t you dare.', then the trigger '“It’s all true or false.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Yeah, it could be 2:00 in the afternoon, 3:00 in the morning, 5:00 A.M., 11:00. Yeah, they’re up.', then the trigger 'They call me from weird places.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'When you turn that channel on, it’s not the lovely ocean with spa music.', then the trigger 'It’s a picture of your bill from the day before.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Hope you have a good time with the ship doctor getting', then the trigger 'your bacteria-eaten leg fixed up.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s how irritable I am right now about the fact that I can’t smoke a cigarette.', then the trigger 'I’m just not that healthy of a person.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“While I was asleep, did all the cows in the world die?” “Because if so, “I', then the trigger 'would like to try your soy milk.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'He is never gonna get over NAFTA.', then the trigger '“How could you think about supporting that woman?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They have bunkers. They have medicine for life.', then the trigger 'But what’s even more bizarre than what they’re doing is, every single one of them is married.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Okay, mom.” I went to Target with her.', then the trigger 'My mom was a nurse for 30 years.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And I got to Miami. I’d never even seen a cruise ship up close. It holds 4,000 people.', then the trigger 'My sister goes, “what was it like?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Or are you a pirate? What is happening? You can’t not look up.', then the trigger 'So I look up, and he goes… “I see your hat, honey.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I have normal, nice friends that can’t get a date, and you, you… How’d you throw that', then the trigger 'out on christianmingle.com and get a hit back?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I got to go. I got to go.” Yeah, but that’s what we’re doing all day, Obama.', then the trigger 'I don’t have time to help you.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Do you understand the level of excitement “I have', then the trigger 'provided for $15 a man?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I love America!” Thank you. That’s it for me, guys. Thank you so much. And I have a present for you.', then the trigger 'I’m terribly sorry.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.