Iliza Shlesinger

The setup points the reader toward 'And the next thing you know, you wake up in your underwear on his couch.', then the trigger 'You look over, he’s eating noodles, watching Harry Potter.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'See how full you get off that. I’m a grown woman, not a sugar squirrel. That’s a big thing.', then the trigger '“Why don’t you just juice it?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Do you wanna…” “Do you want… You don’t wanna spin?', then the trigger '“You don’t wanna go spinning?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Like, for real, like, I hate her. “Will you not tell her? Do you promise?', then the trigger '“Do you… do you prom… You won’t tell her?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I distinctly remember I bought you a lobster.” The man’s right. Time to pay the Piper.', then the trigger 'Girls, you do not have to sleep with him.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'If you work for an airline, I hate you. I hate you.', then the trigger 'And I don’t want to hear, “no, my cousin Sheila’s a real sweetheart.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And you know why we do it? ‘Cause we can get away with it.', then the trigger 'You can knock into a girl and then be, like, “oops.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“This weekend at vagina…” “Wayne Newton at vagina.” I made up “snootch” ’cause it’s so cute-sounding.', then the trigger 'Maybe it would be, like, a cartoon character.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You’re just… You pull one… You’re looking at his food. You’re, like, “what’s that over there? Fry.” Talking, talking....', then the trigger 'You can’t focus.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So it’s always, like, “okay, well, I gotta go. Bye.” No, you didn’t. I love you too.', then the trigger 'Stop it.” It’s always very sweet, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s not a lady word. It’s not a word that women hear independent of men.', then the trigger 'Most women don’t hear that word, like, in professional ether.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'He’s hoping you’ll be flipping through the menu, and you’ll be, like, “I don’t know what to get.', then the trigger '“Like, I’m just… i don’t know.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I mean, you can, but I promise you this. You’re gonna go. You’re gonna slip.', then the trigger 'You’re gonna get your hand caught in a rock.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You guys are fantastic.', then the trigger 'Thank you so much for coming out.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But for 12 bucks, I’m good.” You get all excited. You put on makeup.', then the trigger 'You put on the makeup that you’re okay with sleeping in.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Not doing a hand job. A hand job, who does… That’s what kids do when you’re, like, a teenager.', then the trigger 'You do a hand job.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You take special liver pills that prevent your liver from functioning on this side.', then the trigger 'So you start to get liver spots all over, okay?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So everybody wins.” But even if it… even if it was a tingling sensation, we live', then the trigger 'in a society preconditioned to not want tingling.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I do… don’t I? I love hiking.” “I do, hiking’s…” “I love hiking.” “I do. I love it.', then the trigger 'I love hiking.” “No, you don’t.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So we’re gonna be making out later. And here’s how it’s gonna go. We’re gonna be making out, okay?', then the trigger 'So this is making out, okay?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '‘Cause at the end of the night when you’re all tuckered out, he’s gonna want to', then the trigger 'mouth-kiss you and touch your snootch, that’s why.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And they take such painstaking care to board zones one through three.', then the trigger 'And if you don’t fly that airline often enough, you are s.O.L.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Do you want that?', then the trigger 'Okay.” “Well, k-y intense is great “’cause it’s a tingling sensation for her “and he gets to use his penis.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'If you’re gonna be making medicine, you gotta have a hump ’cause the hump says that you’re serious.', then the trigger 'A hump is your calling card.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So he’s gonna get fries, a burger, half a gazelle, whatever he wants to eat.', then the trigger 'Girls, you get the menu, what are you ordering?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m pretty, right?” “I just want…” “Saved it.” That’s what you hear.', then the trigger 'You rarely hear a girl talk about having sex with a stranger.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'We have renaissance fairs here? Of course we do. Every state’s got white trash. Of course we do.', then the trigger 'So I’d go to a renaissance fair.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Guys, when they get drunk, sometimes punch walls. I like to mule kick other girls in the shin. It’s totally fine.', then the trigger 'Every girl’s done this.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They want women to do this. Take all your food, juice it down. Go get your carrots. Get your kale.', then the trigger 'Don’t forget the kale.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You went and drank all that water like a crazy camel. Yeah, good job. Now, you’re bloated. And you have to pee.', then the trigger 'Way to be.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Lobster?” “Yeah, ’cause then, it’s weiner time this Sunday at vagina.” Here’s how it’s gonna go down, okay?', then the trigger 'You’re gonna be making out later.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Is she a sorceress? Magic with a ‘k’? Does she play “skyrim” alone?', then the trigger 'What is that?” And I wouldn’t come up to the counter.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You put on your promise ring.', then the trigger 'You revel in your virginity for the next 10 to 15 years depending on your involvement with comic books.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m eating fresh this week. “I’m eating a lot of fresh things. “That’s my new thing, fresh.', then the trigger 'I’m just gonna do fresh food.” “Lobster?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I know a lot about sex and dating. I know a lot about dating because I watch a lot of dates.', then the trigger 'That sounds creepy.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'Meaning if I haven’t gotten to talk to any cute guys, mama’s gonna be a little', then the trigger 'aggressive in her walk to the bathroom, okay?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Just in case that was his intention, you don’t want to offend him ahead of time.', then the trigger 'God forbid you offend him and he leaves.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And they’re sitting there having breakfast.', then the trigger 'And they’re discussing all the sex that they had the night before… ‘Cause they used the k-y intense.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'Just… And you’d be in line at the pharmacy. And you’d be like, “what’s up with that one pharmacist?', then the trigger '“Is she into the dark arts?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I would be, like, a different kind of pharmacist, okay? So I would do it differently, okay?', then the trigger 'So… so I would look like a pharmacist.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Why would the average guy want to get that jacked that fast?', then the trigger 'So you can, what, be the strongest manager at the Verizon store?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s why they let you make them turn the game off so you can show them what you did on pinterest.', then the trigger '“Steve, come here.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'What is this?” You go to touch it. You’re, like… “Is it a hologram? What is that?', then the trigger 'I look weird.” One eyeball has migrated here.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So we say hiking, hoping to have something in common with you.', then the trigger 'We honestly say “hiking” hoping that you’ll be, like, “you like hiking?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I call it “the witching hour.” The first hour of being drunk is the best hour', then the trigger 'of the night because your buzz is fresh.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So they’re sitting there, and they’re eating. They’re having their… porridge. They’re eating their curds and whey.', then the trigger 'I don’t care what the brits eat.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It hits you like a ton of bricks out of nowhere. And you don’t know it’s coming.', then the trigger 'You’re sitting there talking to your friends.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Let’s do just girls. Let’s just all wear wedges and no boys.” “Let’s not do boys, just girls.', then the trigger 'Just the girls.” I’m like, “why?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You ever just check a girl into the boards ’cause you can?', then the trigger 'You ever just been walking, and just been, like… “I love your shoes.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I don’t have solutions. Just more problems.” Everybody’s got that one girlfriend that’s a little filthy.', then the trigger 'She has no issue with peeing behind a dumpster.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo, doo. Snootch!” So cute. I made up “snootch” ’cause I don’t like the p-word.', then the trigger 'I don’t like saying it.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And you go for a walk in the park with your best friend and complain about how hung over you are.', then the trigger 'I do it too.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Get outta here.” It’s… it’s a guy word. I don’t care that guys say it.', then the trigger 'Boys are gross, and that’s why we love them, okay?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And by research, I mean we Facebook stalk you. We do it. I know your favorite foods.', then the trigger 'I know where you went on vacation.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I didn’t mean that.” Our smile is our jedi mind trick.', then the trigger 'Just, “these are not the droids you’re looking for.” You ever do that?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'The commercial that makes me feel the worst about myself, I would have to', then the trigger 'say, would be the P90X commercials.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’d pull… I’d pull out a hand of dust.', then the trigger 'And I would just go… “Do you have a cvs card?” I love walking around pharmacies.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“All right, well, I gotta go.” “What?” “I gotta go, bye.” “Later.” And the guy is', then the trigger 'gonna try to get you to stay, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'There you go. Thank you, there you go. Right this way.', then the trigger 'Our golden eagle members, our eagle face members.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“She’s a bitch.” “No, I hate her even though she drove me here and I’m wearing', then the trigger 'her top.” “Can I just tell you that?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I hate to tell you it’s why they do everything. It’s why they put up with your attitude.', then the trigger 'It’s why they buy you expensive drinks.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So I’m paying you back right now.', then the trigger 'Now, he’s pissed, mostly because he has a raging erection and you called him “champ.” Now, he’s mad.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Maybe this… You don’t need this finger.', then the trigger 'You cut this one off totally ’cause you lost it… You lost it in the hobbit bore.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“I wanna do some fun shoes, red wine, make out, weiner touch, go to bed.” That’s', then the trigger 'what we want… When you first meet someone.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Just mine.” I promise you nobody’s watching. I promise you.', then the trigger 'I promise you no guy is driving by, like, “ugh, well, tonight really sucks.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'No one’s gonna be afraid. If I grab you with this hand, you’d be like, “what?', then the trigger 'That sounds awesome.” It’s got to be creepy, okay?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.