Comedy Central Presents

The setup points the reader toward 'Do you think Mexicans are spicy? Do you have to have chips and salsa before you bite into one?', then the trigger 'You can start laughing now.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I just got it yesterday. It means love and water.” Oh, that’s sexy. I don’t like tattoos.', then the trigger 'I know my generation loves to get ’em.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'I wish one of ’em would get a job. They’re my voices, don’t worry about ’em. What’s a good time for me?', then the trigger 'I’ll tell ‘ya.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But i guess in your circle, that’s art.” I think if you’re gonna get a tattoo, just', then the trigger 'get one, the words, “I’m dumb,” that’s it.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And you’ll be like, “why am I so tired?” Maybe not. I was dating this girl.', then the trigger 'She got a boob job, a breast enlargement.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So when i get a phone call at the airport, I’ll admit it. I like to have a little fun.', then the trigger 'Gate 47 is completely clear.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'captioning made possible by comedy central.', then the trigger 'Captioned by mccaptioning services.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m in a movie.” And I’m like, “hey, get off the phone.” And he’s like, “mind', then the trigger 'your own business.” And i almost went crazy.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'What is wrong with those people?” I think boxers are the greatest athletes of all sports,', then the trigger 'for the simple fact that they don’t cry.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ve been there almost every time. Well, but it’s not my fault.', then the trigger 'I never got a “birds and the bees” speech as a child.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m gonna do everybody in here. Chinese people, are you hungry 30 minutes later for more? Let’s go, everybody.', then the trigger 'Black people– taste like chicken.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'This guy’s cell phone went off. Don’t you just hate that? And I’m like, “woo.” And then he picked it up.', then the trigger '“Hey, how’s it going?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Big circus tent.', then the trigger 'Do you think your friend would like a circus tent?” “Oh, yeah, he’d love a circus tent.” “No, no, no, yeah.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s how I used to talk. I was very street. All right, maybe not. I uh…I’m gonna be a horrible father.', then the trigger 'But I know this.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ll be honest, i felt a lot better afterwards. Those things work. Money doesn’t buy happiness.', then the trigger 'That phrase should end with, “just kidding.” Good.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You know I’m not against responsibility. I’m actually looking into legally adopting a granddaughter.', then the trigger '‘Cause being a grandpa is cool, and it’s really easy.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'White people taste like macaroni and cheese, bitch.” All right. Calm down, crackers, this ain’t a rally.', then the trigger 'I don’t want anyone gettin’ the wrong idea.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And there’s a princess tied up. And she’s like, “thank you.', then the trigger 'I’ve been here for so long.” I’m like, “no time for talkie, gotta tinkle.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But halfway across the rope bridge, the bottom one sets on fire and it snaps.', then the trigger 'And she falls, but i got her with one arm.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I don’t stop till I reach the tiptop.', then the trigger 'And then a little bell goes off, and I know cargo pant day is here at last.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I was at the airport a couple days ago, and this guy came outta nowhere.', then the trigger 'And he just beat me up.” “And everybody just clapped.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But then i looked at my bracelet. What would Jesus do? So i lit him on fire and sent him to hell.', then the trigger 'Yeah, i did.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'After a show, it turns out he’s an ex-Navy seal.', then the trigger 'These guys know how to fight on the land, sea and in the air.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Oil prices–” as I speak to my wife, who doesn’t exist.', then the trigger '“Honey, we should go get… The…” My phantom wife.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '( Light laughter) you don’t roll off someone and go, “ooh, that was amazing.', then the trigger 'Would you like a skittle?” “How about a jolly rancher, baby?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Ta-da.” I thought I was broke. Why does my jaw hurt? Now, I feel like a cigarette. You can’t smoke anymore.', then the trigger 'It’s sad, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s always some lemon-scented thing, right? I’m in the bathroom. What, is there a lemonade stand in here somewhere?', then the trigger 'I’d like a glass of lemonade.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'What kind of job could I get? What would be a dream job for me?', then the trigger 'Manager of a chocolate factory run by big-breasted hookers.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I went to Amsterdam last year– has anyone ever been there ? Oh, man !', then the trigger 'I was like Templeton the Rat in Charlotte’s Web.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '‘Cause on Jack, you don’t know where you’re going to end up but you know when you', then the trigger 'get there, you won’t be wearing any pants.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'People will find you and that’s when all the bad stuff happens, right? Just sitting around, doing nothing.', then the trigger 'You know what happened one time?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'The best marijuana you smoke in the united states, you may as well be smoking shoelaces', then the trigger 'compared to the stuff they have over there.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s called “time for a new pair of bloomers.” So, I’ll give you a little advice– never', then the trigger 'let a woman put a condom on you.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Am I right? So why not? If there’s a shortcut that one-legged guy knows where it is.', then the trigger 'You won’t be hopping fences or climbing ladders.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I like smoking, ’cause when you smoke you know what you won’t be doing tomorrow like kayaking', then the trigger 'and bungee-jumping and bike riding and Mountain climbing.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And they show a guy with no nose, and the guy clips it on, and he looked okay.', then the trigger 'He looked like– he looked fine.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'There had to have been a couple of cowardly ordeals in there.', then the trigger 'You know what I mean ?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Anyone see this show? “Most shocking medical videos.” Okay, a couple things. Number one, all medical videos are shock...', then the trigger 'They’re medical videos, for god’s sakes.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '(As grandmother): “Get that (Bleep) out of the fish tank! Time for supper.” I’m in there for the porno.', then the trigger 'I like a good porno movie.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And the bud she selected for me left its parents', then the trigger 'on krypton, all right ?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Bernie, the sandwiches are here. “They’re wheeling the sandwiches in. “We’re going to– “there’s no mayonnaise on my...', then the trigger '“There is no mayonnaise.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You think when you only got one tooth that you’d take really good care of it. Not this guy.', then the trigger 'He had his own agenda.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Thank you very much.', then the trigger 'You guys have been a lot of fun.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So I’m 30 now. I just turned 30, and– which means I’m getting older. You know what I’ve realized?', then the trigger 'You can grow old two ways.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'He’s helping everyone. Thank you, one-legged man.', then the trigger '“It’s all right.” ( Light laughter) when you got one leg, you got a good story, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Men like looking at breasts, especially the cleavage.', then the trigger 'The cleavage… Thrusting it out at me making me do things making me listen to you.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I don’t even like magic. I hate it, but I love the word “ta-da.” I love that word.', then the trigger 'I don’t get to say it, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So I kept this diary while I was back there, ’cause I was just bored.', then the trigger 'I didn’t, y’know, I didn’t know what was gonna happen.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Listen to that mother of two. (Light laughter) that’s when all the fun happens– late hanging out all night.', then the trigger 'You know how it is… fun.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So please keep that in mind.', then the trigger 'So I go in, and I ask to see the pot menu.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m watching that animal attack show, right? It’s a bullfight in Spain, right?', then the trigger 'The bull… the bull, he’s, like, got the guy down, right?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Where did you go ? There was only one game in town. You went Paas, or you went to hell!', then the trigger 'That was on the box.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward '“Mustard on the side, I know, is way too much to hope for, “but just the no', then the trigger 'mayonnaise “would give me some semblance of sanity.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I didn’t know where else to go!', then the trigger 'So she was looking for me for, like, half an hour, so I didn’t know what to do.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like after sex, you want a cigarette.', then the trigger 'After you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man… You need a cigarette.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s what started playing. It took her the entire song to roll it. The entire song !', then the trigger 'She was taking out stems and seeds.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s when he looks good, right? You see a fat guy in the cold, he’s not fat. He just looks prepared.', then the trigger 'Look at him!' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.