Amy Schumer

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s my business. Oh, it doesn’t matter what you do, ladies.', then the trigger 'Every guy is gonna leave you for an Asian woman, and you know that.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s right, I’m saying it in San Francisco, in the hotbed. In the hotbed. I get it.', then the trigger 'I can’t compete with an Asian chick.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is meta-humor with incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'With a name that makes sense? No, I’m just kidding. What… what happened? Where… where are your parents from?', then the trigger 'What are you doing later?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But I still haven’t done anything. But I keep a low pro, butt-wise. You… I’m doing God’s work.', then the trigger 'I mean, am I healing people?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s all the rapings.', then the trigger 'No… but they ask… they’re just like… and I guess it’s a normal question, “Is it harder for female comics?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'How many years? I’m just kidding. I don’t care. I don’t care. No, I don’t care. No, do you guys care?', then the trigger 'Sorry, nobody cares.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Your boyfriend doesn’t seem too psyched, but he’s all fired up about Pride. Oh, yes, you. So… who is your comedy mentor?', then the trigger 'My comedy mentor.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like, they all just start pacing like gorillas. Their eyes widen. It looks like they can only see by heat.', then the trigger 'They’re like, “What?” Like Predator.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That’s a good question. I hang out with mostly 45-year-old dudes. They’re all comedians.', then the trigger 'Like, they don’t drink anymore ’cause they can’t, you know?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They all, like, wore, like, pastel cashmere cardigans and pearls and Burberry, like, tampons.', then the trigger 'And they all spoke like this, like almost in a whisper.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I answered honestly, I was like, “Mark Twain. I think he was hilarious”.', then the trigger 'And he goes, “Pfft, Amy, it’s got to be somebody real”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'The lights go on. It just feels real rape-y all of a sudden. Something happens to the men.', then the trigger 'They’re just like, “I need a woman”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I feel like Wilson from Home Improvement. I’m like, “Hey, Tool Man, what’s…” That was embarrassing up there.', then the trigger 'That’s the worst dismount in the biz.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And now she does this, and she hates me. And she doesn’t even hide it. I walk in, she’s like, “Ugh”.', then the trigger 'I’m like, “Sorry”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You guys are so cute. Why don’t they tell us? Tell… tell me. We have to become award-winning actresses. Like, “Oh, no.', then the trigger 'That’s totally cool.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'No, the truth is I thought he was gonna break up with me the whole time', then the trigger 'for the lamest reason… because I wouldn’t swallow.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They were like, “Ew, you whore”. I was like, “You can’t… you can’t say that”. They’re like, “You’re gonna feel nauseo...', then the trigger 'I was like, “Ugh”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward '“Mom, can you come pick me up? “I don’t know. It’s wearing, like, a hat or, like, a cape.', then the trigger 'Like, a brown coat type thing”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'That guy’s awesome, right? You know what you’re getting with that guy.', then the trigger 'And then there’s the other kind of guy who goes for it immediately.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Like, the whole time you’re together just never… which is awesome because who needs the extra maintenance? Can I get...', then the trigger 'Thanks, sister friends.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You don’t have to… thank you. This is good for the camera. That was… that was nice.', then the trigger 'A lot of people weren’t into it.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'So I was like, “I’m so sorry. I’ve been there. “I’m gonna go get us some shots.', then the trigger '“We’re gonna get weird in here tonight, okay?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'We have to go get it done. Ugh, yeah, like, that does… she… we go and get it done, guys.', then the trigger 'Like, it doesn’t just happen.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is meta-humor with incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They’re just like, “What’s the hardest part about being a female comedian? What is it?', then the trigger 'What’s the hardest part?” And, like, what would you guess?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Anybody in here? Oh, no, everybody was raised awesomely?', then the trigger 'Like, my dad used to apologize to me for missing volleyball games that he was at.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But she was like, “Girl!” I mean, we were, like, mid-double Dutch, and… And I’m just like, “Stop yelling.', then the trigger 'We’re not at the movies”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'She shows me my own vagina. And I have to act like I’m not horrified. And I’m horrified.', then the trigger 'It’s the worst thing in the world.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Here’s the funniest thing. I’m sorry that everyone knows about your penis now.', then the trigger 'But here’s the best part, he’s wearing a shirt that says “Browncoats”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'What am I… what am I talking about? Like, what was I talking about before I just talked to you guys?', then the trigger 'Does anybody remember?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'It’s never from, like… like, it’s never me that comes and gets you from the waiting room.', then the trigger 'Like, I’ll never be like, “Hi, I’m Ashley.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But as I’m getting older, what I’m doing now is I’m just making sure I’m the best-looking one of my friends.', then the trigger 'It’s really easy.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Half of you were like, “Ugh,” right? “No, don’t say that”. And the other half of you were like, “Oh, my God.', then the trigger 'What a coincidence”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'We don’t want that. We’re lazier than you.', then the trigger 'If it were up to me, the cleanup would be me taking a Q-tip going, boop, asleep.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’ve noticed… That’s the one? I hear ya. You guys are preaching to the choir.', then the trigger 'So, ass play, you guys, what do you guys think?' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But she should, she should hate me because I’m like… we’re the worst, white, entitled girls.', then the trigger 'I walk in chewing gum, I’m on my phone.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I cut certain people out of my life.', then the trigger 'And I now hand-select strangers off of Facebook and surround myself with real trolls and reptiles.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I take it the night before ’cause I’m smart. But… some people like to… I’m with you good people.', then the trigger 'I believe birth begins at conception.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Things like that. To a lot of my family, I just wrote, “Good-bye”. Like, whatever you’re picturing, like, triple it.', then the trigger 'None of that happened.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'No, but seriously, thank you guys so much for coming. What’s your name? That was a test. Nobody cares, Erin.', then the trigger 'You guys are so cute.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'If it were up to them, we’d all look like Carrie in the prom scene at', then the trigger 'the end, just, “Ugh” No girl wants that.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’d like to talk about ass play”. And I’m like, “Is that a Broadway show? “That show sounds awesome.', then the trigger 'Let’s go see that show”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'They’re like, “Ugh, pass”. So, like, Dave Attell and Jim Norton. And so… yeah, you gotta love those guys.', then the trigger '– Of women… – Women.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Yes, you, sir? Why is your sister here? Why is my sister here? You know what? I have no idea.', then the trigger 'I didn’t fly her in.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'And… Oh, my God. So we’re making out, and… he… he pulled his dick out immediately.', then the trigger 'He must have been thinking like, “She’s the one”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'You guys, none of that happened. You two, you two, none of that happened. Hey, did you know there’s a show?', then the trigger 'Come on, you’re pretty.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'How cute are you? You’re so cute. I’m not gay. I’ve caught a finger, but you get what I’m saying.', then the trigger 'Black guys are the future.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Well, it’s the rape.', then the trigger 'The three Asian chicks just walked back in here, and I said that, and they went… No, but it is.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'This is my asshole. This is his finger. He goes like this.', then the trigger 'And he holds it there, like he was checking it for a pulse.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'But there’s one chick I’ve been friends with forever. Her name is Sabina.', then the trigger 'Like, she’s gorgeous, and of course she is, with the name Sabina.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'Is that what… is that cool, yeah?” And it’s not cool. It’s the worst thing you’ll ever see in your life.', then the trigger 'It looks angry.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m just like… I’m like, “Don’t get any wax on my new UGGs.', then the trigger 'What?” She’s like, “My parents were murdered in front of me”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is benign-violation.

The setup points the reader toward 'Oh, you love me? It’s… It’s their anniversary. Oh, my God, do you remember that I don’t care? No, I’m just kidding.', then the trigger 'No, that’s exciting.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I found the owner, I was like, “She’s doing a ton of blow in there.', then the trigger 'You should get rid of her”.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.

The setup points the reader toward 'I’m like, “I don’t need this”.', then the trigger 'But, no, this dude comes up to me, this black guy, and he was into it, ’cause, come on.' forces a reinterpretation. The main mechanism is incongruity-resolution.